Xbox 360's Assassin's Creed 2

Alright alright. This game was one I'd been looking forward to for a while, probably since I first played AC1.

Ubisoft's Assassin's Creed 2.

I remember playing Assassin's Creed 1 on the xbx, it was one of the first games I had for it. Not only was it a gorgeous and huge game, it played well, it had great characters and great level designs, and basically made you feel like a badass. There were some flaws (I didn't care too much about them) but no one liked the repetitive nature of the missions, or the extremely linear design. They told us the next game would improve on what AC1 had.

Oh....oh it did.

I'll assume you're familiar with AC1, since this is the sequel and well yeah, saves me time too.

So with this one you're in Italy during the renaissance, a pretty cool time.

The first thing you'll notice is the level design. These levels are huge, HUGE. Big. There are alleys and small burroughs you'll probably never even walk through, but they exist. You can run, climb, and swim (yeah you can swim) across, over and through every single inch of the level. The free-running elements are still there, and since it was good in the first place, they didn't change much. They added a nice feature where you can jump up to a higher ledge, something extremely useful.

You're Ezio, an Italian son of an assassin (oh sorry, I ruined that). Your family is killed, and you start your revenge killing/ path to assassinhood.

Oh yeah, the Desmond story is still there, but there isn't much too it, so if you hate Desmond you won't see him much, if you like that kinda stuff, you can search for extra videos concerning it.

Lets see, music and sound effects- good, not very noticeable, but you'll enjoy the sort of rock/chamber esque tunes when they occur.

Controls- Solid. The fighting system is still some sorta sticky, you can't re-select enemies, which is mildly annoying. The free-running is brilliant, jumping running climbing and swinging are all very stable. You have some newer moves where you can assassinate from a cliff or ledge, or from a haystack. The haystack is a fairly unused feature, but fun when it happens.

Visuals- Stunning. You won't notice the details until you stop and look around, but when you do, you'll be very glad you did.

Hey, if you're still reading by now, that means you're a gaming fan, and maybe you have an Xbox. If you have the ability, please please please install this game onto your hard drive. It'll run faster, and you won't hear the annoying load sounds that normally you'll hear quite often. It takes quite a bit to run such a nice game.

Overall environment- Ok, the world here is basically your standard non-linear environment (which I'll explain the non-linear comment in a bit), there are prostitutes, art merchants, doctors, tailors, blacksmiths, and all sorts of other people. Thieves will rob you, which you can of course get your money back, by any means necessary. Doctors can sell you medicine which acts like an old school health pack.

Non-linear missions- Ok, there is a single storyline you'll have to follow to get to the end. However, the last AC1's problems occurred with the path to an assassination. You beat up a guy, overhear a conversation, trail someone, and then assassinate. Not so with 2. With 2 you basically go from assassination to assassination, or you can take on side missions to buy up armor, or weapons to build up your health and attacks and defense.

There are TONS of side missions you can take, assassination contracts, races, beat-up events, and courier situations. You'll max out your health and weapons before you finish the game, but that's ok since it helps. (a certain assassin from the previous AC's armor returns to this game).

There are so many parts of the game that you'll enjoy that it doesn't even matter if I explain them to you. From using Leonardo Da Vinci's flying machine to fly across Italy to killing the Pope in Rome, you'll do some amazing things, and you'll enjoy every single minute of it.

Time- even before I beat the game I was telling people you'll get 20 to 30 hours out of it, when I finally beat the storyline I was at 28hours, so there ya go. The game is tough in parts, a few sneaking missions and a few boss battles, but you'll keep coming back for more kills.

Overall- I'd say rent, but you won't be able to get through the game in a week. Buy it, and you won't regret it. My next goal is 100% on everything, including achievements.... it'll hopefully take me another enjoyable 10 hours.

Great game!

Surrogates: surrogates are people.... people!!

Surrogates.

I don't remember this movie being in the theaters but apparently it was.

Ok, here's the deal. They invent these clone cyborg dealies that you control, they look like you only however you want yourself to look. You control it from a Matrix-esque chair that you have in your house. So you stay at home all day and your clone you goes out and does whatever it is you do, with you controlling it.

The movie probably could have been like 30 to 45minutes with no commercials.

Basically here's the entire movie *spoilers* included

An eccentric billionaire/scientist makes surrogates for everyone, but then regrets his decision and makes a weapon that kills the surrogate, but it also kills the user (not the scientists intention). So the scientist creates reservations (and using one of his own surrogates as the leader where the surrogates aren't allowed, and basically tries to undo his creations. His rationale is that people aren't interacting on an actual physical level, but rather through the clones. After a virus is uploaded that will kill all surrogates and human users, his hope is fulfilled and the surrogates are destroyed, but humanity is safe.

Meanwhile...... Bruce Willis is an FBI agent investigating said weapon and the murders from it, when he discovers the trails of the scientist and his plot, after a few twists and turns Willis finally has control over killing all of the surrogates or keeping them alive. He destroys them all. Willis also falls back in love with his wife, and there's something about his dead son.

There, I just summed up an hour 40 movie in like 2 paragraphs. It wasn't a bad movie, it just felt a lot like iRobot mixed with Minority Report. Human clones and a rogue ex-cop trying to uncover the secrecy and corporate corruption involved. I mean, ok no it's iRobot and Minority Report and Soylent Green combined, that's basically it, it a Minority Report/Blade Runner kinda world.

It wasn't a bad movie. I keep having to tell myself that. It was just the same old same old, with decent special effects (young bruce willis, which is what he has his surrogate look like, doesn't look like actual young bruce willis, which is weird)

Basically it could have been a short made for tv movie, or a two part movie.... or something.

Earlier today I was thinking about how neat it must have been to have double feature scifi movie nights at drive-ins and local cinemas, Surrogates would have been perfect for that. Surrogates and Pandorum in a double feature, I'd totally pay to see that. I just don't think I'd pay 2000's money for each one separate.

Overall- If you like the other movies I've referenced, you'll like Surrogates,

but Redbox exists for a reason. This is worth a watch.

On the topic of the gamer's preference

Sometimes I don't talk about video games and horror movies, sometimes I don't review them, sometimes I wax philosophically about video gamers in general. Here's the situation:

A guy came in a few days ago and wanted "a game like Assassin's Creed or Splinter Cell, with like a slow plotting, killing methodology to the game". So I explained to him that games such as Saboteur, Velvet Assassin, Dead Space, Fallout 3 and Oblivion have the same feeling. It's that slow, tactics heavy killing game that's not quite an RTS or an RPG, but you basically have to approach it as such if you want to survive. So he tried Velvet Assassin (that review is currently in progress).

He hated it. Ok that figures. He thinks he wants a game like Thief or Hitman, or even the old System Shocks, problem is, most people don't have the patience for that today. So his next trial was Fallout 3, which he absolutely hated. (My all time favorite game, once I gain 100%, a daunting task, I'll review it)

I asked him a more thoughtful question when he returned with Fallout. "How slowly do you play?" to which he replied "well, I like to get through a game in 8-10 hours".

Oh no. no no no. That simply won't do. See, here's the problem, he's not a action/adventure gamer, he wants a shooter, but doesn't want a shooter, if that makes sense.

So I asked him the next logical question, "have you played COD or Halo or Borderlands or L4D?" He said he loved L4D but hasn't played any of the others. Aha, here it is. He wants a shooter, but doesn't know it. So I sold him a used copy of COD:MW1 and told him to give it a whirl. He came back at the end of the 7 day trial and said he loved it. He also came back and sold both Assassin's Creeds, Splinter Cell, Bioshock and Oblivion.

Some gamers just aren't slow shooter gamers. I have 250 hours put into Oblivion, and about 5 put into COD. That's just how some gamers are. If you figure out what types you like and what types you don't like you'll see how quickly you get through games. An easy trick for 360 owners, look at what games you have more achievements for. Of course some games are easy to get achievements, but whatever genre you have the most in, chances are that's your favorite genre.

I can't play RTS's, I'll admit it. I don't have the patience for it, and I don't care to manage my resources. At the same time I don't obsess over FPSs. My idea of a perfect game? Something like Oblivion, or Assassin's Creed, or Zelda. Haha, something that rewards the obsessive-compuslive nature, and yet has fast action. If it's a handheld game, that's simply perfect for an RPG, something I can take with me and obsess over. Final Fantasy Tactics and FFTactics A2 combined I have somewhere in the realm of 400hours dedicated into it, but FFX? I went through it once.

If all you play is a shooter, that's fine. If you believe Zork and FF are the only true video games, that's fine too. Not every game is made for you to enjoy. Most people hate Saboteur and Fallout, which is fine because the people that like them, love them.

However, you'll save yourself a ton of trouble if you simply admit to yourself what you do and don't like, and play accordingly.

Have fun!

PSP GO

The PSP Go.

I finally broke down and bought one. Albeit that it's only $150 used, $100 cheaper than new, I felt like it was a good choice.

First off, I'm going to skip the tech specs, you can find those anywhere.



I'm going to discuss it from a gamer's perspective.

Now, we all know I'm a bit of an internet pirate, and when I heard that the PSP Go didn't really prevent anyone from using ISO and CSOs, I was intrigued. At work I constantly badmouth the PSP GO, with the usual statements like "it's digital download only, you have to pay whatever sony wants you to pay, there won't be used games, if you don't like a game you're stuck with it, etc"

So why did I buy one? If it seems like a used PSP 2000 or 3000 would be $50 cheaper? Well, a few reasons. Finding a used PSP in good condition is about like finding a DS Lite used in good condition, it might happen, but you'll have to drive a ways to do it.

I was recently playing a PSP 3000, basically brand new, at work the other day. I was surprised to find that the brand new Assassin's Creed Bloodlines ran rather choppy, and get this, the UMD loaded louder than the highest volume on the psp. No deal.

So when I heard that the used Go's were going to be $150, I decided to look into what all I could pirate for it. The internet didn't fail me on this one, you name a psp game, you can find it on the internets to download. Perfect. What about video conversion? It still plays .mp4s. Done and done.

So why a PSP GO? Its small, it's about the size of my blackberry, it has no UMD slot so it's really small, and it has no annoying load times, and did I mention no UMD discs? Brilliant.

Here's the thing about UMD. ok, the way the packaging is made, the disc cases, if you take out a UMD properly, you actually pull at the UMDs seal, do this enough times and the disc gets ripped open.


(copyright- playtech.co.nz)

Now sure, the disc can be fixed, but most gaming stores won't take the disc in trade if the disc is cracked at all. True story, I've taken out a UMD from it's case to check in, and in the process actually cracked the UMD itself. It happens, often. The guy got his money though, don't worry.

Regardless, UMDs are moot now, since the PSP GO doesn't use them. So where do all of your games music and movies go?
Onboard hard drive, brilliant. It's a flash memory so it runs nice and fast and can transfer quick. But hey wait, if I download a game, and run out of space, what do I do?

Well, if you've purchased the game before, you can re-download it as many times as you'd like, you can also save the actual game onto a pc or mac and transfer it back and forth however you'd like. (You see how the piracy starts?)

PSP classics. They cost about $5-6 a piece, and these I actually buy. The original Resident Evils, the original Dino Crisis. Basically, if it was on the PS1, you can download it to your PSP GO, kinda brilliant. They have onboard memory cards, screen size adjustments, the classic games with all the expansions, a pretty slick way to change discs, basically if you buy a PSP GO just for the PSPone classics, you're getting your moneys worth.

Now I mentioned the small size, and you might be wondering if that small size affects gameplay. Well, I have larger hands, and sure the shoulder buttons are a bit of a stretch, so I kinda lay my finger over them. But now remember, most PSP games make use of the d pad or buttons to control the camera, so basically you move with the analog stick (which is much smaller but much more responsive on the go), and you control the camera with the face buttons. It's a little smaller in width than the DS lite, but the size is what really sold me. You can basically hide a PSP GO inside of the old PSone. brilliant. It works almost like a Sidekick in the sense that the screen is on top, and you slide out the buttons from underneath. I have the tendency to hide the buttons during cut scenes or movies, and pop it out when needed.

Movie player, same as PSP, just a basic but solid player. The sony store has a slick system for renting/buying movies. Basically if you rent it, you pay $3 and you have a week to watch it, within that week if you start to watch it you have 24hours to finish it. Or pay $10 to buy the movie straight up, or convert your dvds into .m4p format and transfer them on and ignore the whole ordeal.

Music player, nothing fancy but you won't want to take up space with music. On average the games are 600mb to 1.3 gbs, which isn't terrible considering you'll have to pirate or buy each one.

My last lie about the PSP GO I'd tell people "not every game for the PSP will be released for the GO". Totally not true, every single PSP game, and some you can't buy in stores, is available for purchase on the sony store, and get this, you're paying whatever you'd pay for the game new in stores.

I think the marketing and sudden approach of Sony is what almost killed the GO. If people were able to experience it, they'd understand that it's a pretty innovative system with some good ideas, and a really bright future. Unfortunately that future will only be experienced by people willing to take the leap, and there aren't that many willing.

Session 9: Horatio Caine and the haunted Irishman.

Currently watching "Session 9" it opened with a "USA Films" logo...... this is gonna suck...

A hospital closed in 1985, and all the patients were put out on the street, but some keep coming back.

OK, my first big problem with this movie. Horatio from CSI: Miami and Jim Brass from CSI: First one are in this movie.... ummm.... Neither of them are police officers, Horatio is an asbestos remover and Brass is a tourguide of sorts, I think he owns the building.

Anyway, Horatio and an Irishmen are examining the building to see what sorts of asbestos and hazmat removal they'll have to do. They start working on Monday and the movie basically starts.
I'm pretty sure Horatio from CSI is also smoking pot. I uh... ok. So throughout the week each of the 5 workers has a different problem or storyline they follow. One becomes obsessed with the old asylum records and the history of a single patient. (Doesn't this sound familiar??) One is afraid of the dark, one is dating Horatio's old girlfriend and picking on Horatio about it, one is the Irishman who's having martial issues and a new baby problems. As the story progresses each person seems to be more and more affected by the asylum. They start fighting with each other more and more, they start hearing voices and going crazy, and the likes.

*spoiler*

The Irishman goes nuts and kills everyone, and has been killing them the whole time.

My problem with this movie, and the idea is pretty commonplace but good regardless, is that they don't explain the unexplainable. When you finally find out that it wasn't Horatio who was killing people, it's more confusing than anything. Normally in these types of movies, it's a "oooooohhh!! that explains it!" but this time it was more of a "so wait, that part didn't happen? or wait, not yet?? ummmm".

I think there's a new genre of horror movies, and I'd call it the "group investigation/discovery" flick. So movies like Session 9, and that shitty danish horror movie, and the descent and the likes are grouped into a specific area, where they find out some dark power lurks there, or someone goes crazy, or something like that.

The movie had some strange music choices, but mostly it's the silent, dialogue only sounds. The setting is a great asylum that's been featured in dozens of movies. There's nothing really wrong with the movie, it just kinda drags. Honestly, it would be a better book than a movie, since I can't imagine Horatio Caine and Jim Brass in anything other than CSI.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CudA99mUoz0

Overall- It's not worth a rent, and not worth a buy, maybe if someone else is watching it, and you're not really paying attention but it's on in the background, then it might be ok.

There's no Salvaging this Butcher of 2 bad movies

two movies, both released in 2006.... although never heard anything about them until other people told me they were new and sucked...

Salvage (also knows as Gruesome) and the Butcher

Salvage.... a girl who works at a gas station at night, and goes to community college during the day

It starts when she is waiting for her boyfriend to pick her up from work, only instead of her boyfriend, it's a man named Duke

wait, she dreamed this.....
ok..... so she gets home and Duke breaks in and kills her in the basement...
wait no no, she dreamed this too

she keeps getting killed by a man named Duke, in her dreams, each time she falls asleep, she is attacked by Duke. In one conversation he tells her that the only thing that is real is what she feels.... k? In one occasion, she is able to call the police, they come and tell her that they killed Duke a week ago...after being chased all through her dreams, and having her boyfriend killed in her dreams in the process, she finally makes her way to the library... dream or reality? no fucking clue...... and she reads the news that she has been missing for over a week. Finally she and her boyfriend, who came back to life?, make it over to Duke's house, but wait, Duke comes home.... she escapes, but her boyfriend doesn't... she makes it home.... and into her basement where... she finds...

*spoiler*

it's actually Duke trapped in limbo in Hell and he has to re-live killing this girl over and over...... OH MY!!!

so she was dead, and everything that happened in the movie, actually happened in the past...... here's my thing..... wouldn't he enjoy having to re-live his final kill over and over again? isn't the kill the exciting part for killers?.... anyway, I had to read a forum at imdb to understand the movie.... which was annoying.....

2.5 out of 10

Butcher

An escalade with a bunch of college students is terrorized by a deformed man in a deuce and a half truck, they eventually make their way to a farmhouse, where they find the standard dead people, and a small girl and a wife..... that's basically it... they all die except the main girl (who at one point re-wires the house's circuit box to get power back into the house.... seriously, nothing against girls, but I don't even know how to do that, and the house was built in the 1930's.... and never changed.... so how??)

*spoiler*

the girl that they find is actually the daughter of the wife and someone who lives in town, yes the lady that married the deformed man in the truck cheated.... gross part.... they couldn't have kids, who knows why, so he would take the bodies... (but wait, in the movie they said they... I know) and burn them in a hole outside..... the second guy, the madly-in love- with other girl who gets killed guy (seriously, they are all standards for slasher movies) sacrifices himself to kill the monster and save the main girl

the main girl runs into the street, and is saved by some more college kids.... on their way to vegas by way of a small farm?.... as they are driving, they pass..... guess what guess what!!! a deuce and a half.... but whos driving???? the mutated man!!! OH NO!!!

4 out of 10.... they followed the rules and had all of the standards of a slasher, everyone got killed according to the rules.... good for them


so yeah.....

Sublime: Doesn't everyone else get it?

I watched what I thought would be a good horror movie, Sublime

wrong

wrong

wrong


Ever seen Jacob's Ladder? It was ok, but I was like 13 and didn't get it at all...

here's the thing.... take a political commentary on Bush, and combine it with Jacob's Ladder, you get Sublime.

Anyhoos, this movie sucked.... apparently the main character George Grieves... get this.... represents George Bush and the grieveances (huh?) that face him due to the modern world..... thanks to IMDB for explaining that, because, well.... I wouldn't have gotten it.... at all

about 40 minutes into the movie, it turns into a commentary on race.... one of the nurses at the hospital

wait..... ok sorry.... this guy goes into a hospital for a colonoscopy and a mistake occurs and they give him a hyperhyrdosis surgery for sweaty palms

see how that relates to Bush? neither do I

so this nurse, who is black, and named mandingo, I ain't makin this shit up, it's really in the movie, starts to blame George for being white and complaining about life

umm.... some more confusing things, and a blatant scene rip from Jacob's ladder, and we are.... wait no.... 1 hour into the damn movie

then, to make me punch myself in the face more, they begin to do that bullshit

"is this a dream or reality?" topped with flashbacks that I guessed at...

at the end he dies

he kills himself by jumping out of the window, or something...

DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE

to avoid paying attention to this movie, I would actually reply to Stuart McDowells emails.... and was excited when he wrote me back, thats how much this movie sucked. Unless you want what one person on IMDB called

"finally, an original horror film that mocks George Bush"

umm.... the only... nevermind

the movie sucked

Old Movie Reviews!!

These are old! But chances are, and I pray, you haven't seen these movies, and here's why!!


So.... from most recent

Drive-Thru
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0466766/

Oh man..... terrible.... So here's the deal, killer clowns work only on occasion.... there are people out there who swear up and down that Pennywise from IT is still the most freaky looking thing ever.... I'd agree with them. However, it's the look, not the story-line that makes clowns in horror films so terrifying. To back up this theory, simply look at Killer Klowns from Outer Space http://www.dvdactive.com/images/editorial/screenshot/2005/11/alien_kkfos.jpg

some freaky lookin clowns given the right atmosphere..... anyway

Drive-Thru takes place in a small town, mostly in the high school, the main girls house and the drive thru fast food place... Now.... according to modern horror films.... a girl always survives.... this is important to remember, as I won't mention it later, and just assume that you all know that the main character is almost always a girl, who survives.

Ok...So, a killer clown is killing a young "Mac"'s friends.... The movie is terrible. It's predictable, it tries to be scary, but the mix of loud death metal and a slightly unbelieveable evil villan.... here's the deal, his mouth, the clown? is a drive thru voice box...... the movie looks fine, and there are actually some very nice special effects.... but.... well a perfect example is the boy and girl doing it inside of the haunted house ride, and guess what, they die....

Spoliers a-plenty..... turns out that the parents of the children when they were in college accidentally killed the son of the owner of the fast food place, he came back for revenge....

Did I neglect to mention the name of the fast food place? HellaBurger???

Um........ wow bad.....



Next was....Behind The Mask

http://poll.imdb.com/title/tt0437857/



now this movie made me really happy..... it starts as a documentary of a sort of real-life horror movie killer....

in the first few scenes, they show pictures from the favorite places.... elm street.... camp crystal lake and whereever the fuck halloween took place

they then show Kane Hodder... who played Jason in about half of the Fri 13th movies... I suppose this movie was only really good to horror film buffs, the story line follows Leslie Vernon... who is working on being the next Jason basically... the crew learns the "tricks of the trade" bulletproof vests lots of cardio walking... planning the deaths.... it's basically a documentary on how a good slasher is made... the production was very nice, and there was even a special apperance of Robert Englund.... he played Freddy..... in Behind The Mask, Robert plays the main hero, who ends up dying.... this is a movie to see if you have ever seen a horror film from the 80's, there are tons of inside jokes and that dark sense of humor that horror film fans have.... I liked it

.... I've already forgotten the other movies I watched..... right now I am watching The Breed http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0455362/

it's a bunch of talking....

oh yeah...5 Girls is next

Ron Pearlman..... know him? Hellboy.... Blade 2..... big guy.... huge jaw....
anyway...... this movie takes place in a catholic school, there are juvi girls that are sent to this place as a punishment in an attempt to reform them....

the movie takes two twists that will never make sense to me..... in one scene, Ron is reading the bible in braille (?) and it's never mentioned again for the rest of the movie..... the second part is that the girls all have super powers.... wait... what? One girl can walk through small objects.... one has telepathy, one has a knife or something.... long and short of the movie..... a former student, and her sister who was killed by evil forces are now running the school, the dead sister is resurrected, as an evil ghost, using the bodies of the 5 girls...... uh.... boring....... in the end, the girls all die, except one.... the main girl blah blah

the movie sucked, and it was obvious that it was a small production movie, that Ron pearlman happened to get dragged into, a terrible thing really.....

So.... next... was..... that movie about the children in the kids hospital.....calista flockfart was in it........ ummmm.... I seriously don't rememeber.....

it was some one name title.... anyway...

Calista starts as a nurse at a childrens hospital that is haunted by a ghost.... the ghost is a nurse who used to work there who loved the children, especially one... and she can't let them go.... the movie was completely forgettable.... stereotypical and very Ring like.... modern thriller with horror elements that came together to make a movie that I basically had to force myself to watch, it was boring and bad and if anyone remembers the name, don't watch it....

White Noise 2.... umm.... remember Firefly? No..... no one does..... the main guy was in this one.... Now here's the thing, the original white noise I was ok with since it had batman in it....

This one sucks.... starts off, and BAM, a guy shoots the main guys wife and son, then himself.... so the main guy..... he tries to kill himself and ends up having a near death experience, this allows him to see when people are going to die.... turns out it's a curse, and if you can see when they are going to die, there is nothing you can do about it.... ummm...... in the end, everyone dies.....

it was terrible as well..........

hm.....

I think that's it.... ooh, the new Hannibal was brilliant.... the new Hostel sucks.... the new Hills Have Eyes sucked.....

I really hope no one reads this, hell, I was bored writing it...

so, I'm watching "The Breed" ...."The Mad" ..... "Turistas".....Night Watch"... "Day Watch"..... "The Tomb"....."The Thirst"... "Hell Night"..... "Rinne"....."Death Note 1 and 2".....and I think I might have found a good version of 28 Weeks Later.....

Xbox 360's Borderlands

Borderlands. One part Fallout, one part Unreal Tournament, one part.... i dunno.

A game I might never have played. They call it the RPG shooter, which.... I suppose is correct. I remember overhearing multiple co-workers mention "this game is like Oblivion or Fallout" well.... not exactly. With Fallout you have a slower AC based shooter, as in you have so many action points and you have so many skill points, with a limited number of ammunition so shootouts are few and far between and when they do occur, planning is the key to success. (Although this isn't a fallout review, oh how I wish it was)

Instead of trying to define Borderlands by using other games as examples, I'll tell you what it's like. It's a first-person shooter first of all. The basic storyline is something about hidden gold in caves, and you pick one of 4 treasure hunters to find said gold. The story kinda disappears from there. Luckily there isn't an overall looming objective for you to constantly have to get back to. It's almost an mmo feeling in the sense that the ultimate goal is to kill a final boss, max your chars level and get as much gold as possible.

Now this shooter is fast, extremely fast if you want it to be. Hundreds of thousands of weapon possibilities. Some shoot electricity, some shoot fire, some are crossbows that shoot fire, others are revolvers that shoot electricity or poision, and pretty much any combination in-between. The problem is, after you pass about lvl 10, most of the pick-ups are way too under powered for you, making it harder to find a proper weapon combination that works. You'll have eventually 4 weapon slots, and a limited backpack, so you won't be able to carry everything. However, depending on which character you choose, you'll have a select choice of weapon set. For instance with the hunter, I always carried a shotgun, a sniper rifle, and a smg.

Which brings me to the characters, one of the bigger aspects that keeps Borderlands a decent replayable title. There are 4 characters as perviously mentioned, each with their own skill sets and special abilities.

A hunter, your standard sniper/rogue.
A soldier, the fighter/ human / DD of the group
A tank, the largest and yet strongest of the group
A cleric/mage (the girl) with magical powers.

Once you've played through each character a bit you'll find one you like especially. Between all of them, there are more hunters floating around online, but the solider and tank are the easiest to play by far. Each character has upgradeable skills and specialty abilities (i.e. melee attacks do more damage, or sniper rifle bonuses), which are a nice touch to make each character personal.

Co-play, which is why i bring up each character, is interesting in this game. You can go it alone if you'd like, and while you're playing, if someone else wants to join into your group and help you with a level or boss they can. Basically think PL'ing on crack, but a nice way to jump up levels quickly. Otherwise you can have 3 others and yourself at about the same levels tackle multiple objectives for each person, advancing each individual character but making it easier to go about. The drops during these co-op situations are decent, but usually always one of the higher level characters is left with nothing, since they won't need it. Eh, it happens in these types of games.

The controls are solid, even in the vehicles. (Which you have two of, a rocket launcher or a machine gun car). Nice and responsive, which is all you can ask for. Actually playing the game you won't notice too many control issues except if you're picky. There are times i wish i could use cover effectively, but if you're having much trouble with a level, try an easier objective and come back.

The game runs quite well, with no slowdowns and very few loading screens (usually the only ones are if you change maps, and the maps are huge). Even with multiple people on screen you can still move as quickly as needed.

The music of this game kinda let me down. it opens with Cage The Elephants "Aint no rest for the wicked", but from there the music basically turns into the ambient orchestrations you find in Fallout 3 (dammit, I won't mention them again!!)

Overall its a solid shooter, it mostly didn't get a lot of attention based on when it was released (yet another death to COD). It's worth a rent, you won't play it for the rest of your life, but it's a nice break from the standard run and gun. Nothing too memorable here, but a solid shooter with depth is a rare thing on the Xbox.

PS2- GTA3

I wrote this whenever GTA3 game out. Technically speaking this is one of my first reviews, published in the High School paper, and again on IGN somewhere.

Grand Theft Auto 3 By. Doug Patton

Grand Theft Auto 3 is one of the best games ever, that’s all there is to it. There are a many elements that go into a great game. Sound, graphics, and gameplay are just a few. From the screech of the tires to the rain puddles on the road, this game has everything. The story line is right out of a mob film. It begins with you, a low-ranked street thug, trying to make a name for yourself in Liberty City. During a robbery, your girlfriend, a fellow criminal, decides to dump you, more specifically, with a bullet to your shoulder. You are caught by the police and found guilty. While being transported to prison, a mishap occurs and you escape.

Along your way to mobster glory, you make friends, enemies, and more importantly, employers. These employers are the most important people you meet in the game. They give you jobs, money, and a place to park your “borrowed” cars. You work for all kinds of low-lifes, including crooked cops, corrupt lawyers, Mexican gang leaders, and even a Mafia Don.

The graphics are a complete change from the other GTAs. It is completely 3-D, now becoming more of a third-person shooter as opposed to the original overhead 2-D view. This gives it more of a realistic look. The city seems to have a real look to it. Each building is individually developed. Skyscrapers don’t seen to just go off into the distance, you can easily tell where it ends. When it rains, puddles of water appear in lower parts on the road. Someone gets to close to you with their car; you give them an “unfriendly” hello. Cars that are on fire leave a smoke trail. The graphics are some of the best I’ve seen in a Playstation game in a while.

The controls are set up perfectly. The learning curve for anyone is just mere seconds. It’s simpler than ever to cruise the city streets or chase down an opposing gang member. Need to steal a car? One simple press of a button and you steal the closest car.

There is a new feature added a sort of drive-by ability. You are able to drive up to your target and take them down with out ever leaving the car. There are over 40 different cars, ranging from a station wagon to a fire-truck, all with their own damage zones. If you hit a wall too hard, you might break off a door, if you rear end someone, it cracks the windshield. The cars seem to break down more realistically in this game, if not too quickly. The game integrates a sort of “real-time”, that is, it moves according to a 24-hour clock. The sun rises at about three and sets at eighteen. The pedestrians even change according to this clock. During the day, there are shoppers and business people that fill the street. At night: thugs, pimps, and other unsociable people appear.

The pedestrians are one of the most interesting parts of Grand Theft Auto 3; they seem to have a reason of being there. They run away when you chase after them with your car and they crowd around when they see an accident. They all talk amongst themselves, giving the city a “real” sense. If you takedown an innocent by-stander or just barely miss hitting them, they usually have something to say. Some of the pedestrians have also turned to a life of crime. They mug people, shoot cops, and even steal your stolen cars.

From Luigi, your first boss, to whoever your last boss may be, all of the voices are recognizable, including Joey Pantoliano (The Sopranos and The Matrix), Michael Rapaport (Cop Land), and Frank Vincent (Goodfellas and Casino).

The music has always been an important factor in the Grand Theft Auto legacy. There are nine radio stations , each with its own DJ and playlist. Double Cleff FM is one of my favorite stations. All of the music is classical music from movies like Scarface, The Untouchables, and Goodfellas. If classical isn’t your bag, there are two rap stations, reggae, two pop stations, rave music, talk radio and 70’s and 80’s stations. All of the radio stations have their own commercials, advertising different products you will see all over town.

I should mention that this is an M rated game. It’s not exactly the game you should let a little kid play due to it’s violence, language, and suggestive themes. The stores seem to be on the lookout for younger buyers of it. With fifteen different endings, over 400 hours of gameplay, and ten different weapons, it’s more fun than a Mafia limo in the middle of Chinatown!

I should explain

I had a blog, but then the internets ate it. It had like 100 movie and game reviews on it. Basically brilliant. However, the old blogsite got rid of them all. So now we're here with blogger and we'll slowly catch up. Stay tuned?

Xbox 360's "Wet"

I wanted to like this game, honest mister, I did. The music is awesome, the whole style of the game is awesome. It's a sort of rockabilly meets desert rock presented in a grindhouse atmosphere. (Think Reverend Horton Heat meets Queens of The Stone Age done by Quentin Tarantino). At the end of every chapter there's a brief clip from the old intermission movies they used to show at drive-in theaters (let's all go to the lobby, please don't steal the speakers... etc).

The main protagonist, Rubi Malone, a badass stereotypical psychobilly chick smashes into a gangster deal on the first level, and the story kinda gets confusing from there. Something about finding a rich guys son, but the guy you deliver the son to isn't the actual rich guy, a set-up!

Basically the gameplay is pretty straight-forward. You first have a level where you climb and gain access to the badguys. It plays very much like Prince Of Persia, wall-running and ledge jumping and the such. When she's not jumping from ledges and spinning on poles, Rubi fights very much like Max Payne, you get to use two guys while you jump or slide or wall-run in sloooowww-moooo. Which is basically the entire aspect of the game. It's nice in a pinch to be able to use the slow-mo slide to take out multiple targets quickly when you're low on health. Although I feel like I might have used the ability too often, but aside from that the game isn't very substantial. Pistols, shotguns, machine guns and swords are the most you'll use, with the occasional gatling gun level thrown in, Im not sure why though.

The levels are all basically linear with a few button-sequences thrown in for variety. Then you get to a larger space where the goal is to destroy a few specific points (doors, or caves). This reminded me of Golden Axe, the sooner you destroy the access points, the less baddies you have to deal with. Then another jumping/climbing level, then another linear level, then the large space, repeat. You'd think this pattern would get repetitive, and it does.

For kicks they throw in a few challenge stages. These stages basically give you a new weapon and you have a time limit to use all of the skills you've learned so far in a race/point challenge. They also have a surprisingly limited, although fun, amount of levels called "wet" when Rubi is covered in blood and goes on a killing spree. Basically it's the same game, only with faster enemies, damage powerups and a nice completely red and black stylized appearance. Not sure the point of these levels, but like the gatling gun and challenge stages they mostly break up the monotony.

Then....... there are these other levels. The first one I didn't like was a sort of tunnel-racer. Only you're falling from an airplane that's been destroyed and you're trying to get to a parachute. on a piece of fuselage. On the surface it seems simple, you avoid the things flying in the air, but that's where the simplicity stops. A single hit will toss you back to the beginning of the stage. Need I mention that the pieces of debris don't really have defined spaces and you are in a 3rd person view? Needless to say, it took me 8 tries to finally beat it. Why did I try it so many times? I said a few times while attempting, and failing, "this is what kills video games, a pointless level with a difficulty that's unnecessary". Well, I wanted to see if they ever pull that crap again, and guess what, they do.

For a game that's obviously short, and has little to no replay value, a frustrating level like that can be a killer to the overall game.

Graphically the game is really great, good camera angles, the film aging effects are always interesting, when you die the screen looks like an old film reel that's melting. The controls are solid and easy to get the hang of. The music is original and you'll most likely google at least a few of the artists included. The voicework is solid as well, with numerous famous voices lending their talent.

The story is forgettable, certain levels are frustrating, there's basically no reason to play through it again, but the single trip through it enjoyable enough, it just won't be staying on anyones shelves for years to come.


Overall- Rent, don't buy. Its a fun few hours.