*all of the opinions hereafter are based on the demo/trial versions of the games mentioned. I tried the demos, and I didn't like what I saw.
Super Meat Boy - okay i get that it's supposed to be cute and everything, but I don't get it. So you are this hunk of meat with a face, and you're trying to save your girlfriend (who is shaped like a hunk of meat also but is actually made of... Band-aids?) because she got kidnapped by some kind of brain thing I think? Umm... why? As if any of this is actually funny or something? No real interesting dynamic in the gameplay, and the story is boring. 2D puzzle platformer? There are others of your kind that do it better. NEXT!
Bloody Good Time - um isn't this basically what that one game The Ship was supposed to be sort of? Run around some weird location and kill people in weird ways! IT'S WEIRD, GET IT? yeah. So, there's some sort of film director, who wants to make horror movies or something by getting "actors" (i.e. you) to kill eachother for real on film. Like slaughterfest style. I didn't like the ship back then very much, and I don't like this bastardized new version either. BOOOOO.
Faery: Legends of Avalon - What year is it? I feel like the first Gothic game had better graphics than this, or even Goldeneye (and their hands were triangles). So... you're some fairy (not going to spell it like they did because it doesn't deserve it) and you wake up from like a thousand years sleeping in a crystal or something, and then you fly around trying to learn about magic or something... I don't know! It was boring and not interesting or fun so don't waste your time, even if you love FAIRYS.
Unbound Saga - So you're a tough guy type character in a comic book. Think Wolverine except no blades, no regenerative properties, no adamantium skeleton, no crazy hair, basically that. Like a guy who Wolverine would beat up. And I guess... you go on some rampage to save someone? Through the comic book? To be honest I didn't pay much attention as the first ten minutes of the demo are all a cutscene. And then when you finally get to play, the gameplay is awful. It's set up like an old arcade fighting game where it's sort of in 2D but you can walk across the street as well as down it, only it's hard to actually hit people and fight. The most redeeming thing about that game is the girl that fights alongside you because she has a big rack. And if you want to see a big rack, there's plenty of other places to do that. CAPITALIZED WORD HERE.
The Deep Cave - this indie game falls extremely short in most aspects of what makes a game interesting. With it's 8-bit style graphics to help lure you in to a sense of nostalgia, you are rudely awoken by a game whose physics seem to run at hyperspeed for no real reason. You control this character who you make fall into a cave down 3 or 4 panels until he finally says, "oh no, i'm in a cave help me get out?" Um, sure I thought that was the point? And so now you have to navigate this cave, you 8-bit wonder who seems to jump up and fall faster than any reasonable semblance of gravity would allow. OH no there's bad guys down there! good luck avoiding them because they seem to move freakishly fast as well. I get the feeling there was something very wrong with this game. It played like the Xbox was too fast of a processor for itself. However, shame on the Devs if they made this deliberately fast. Basically the speed of a person jumping up and down was standardized over time. If everything moves faster than the first super mario brothers, you fucked up.
That's all for now, I have to hold a few close for next time!
p.s. Crazy Taxi just came out on the Xbox. Not as fun as I remember. Disappointing : (
Super Meat Boy - okay i get that it's supposed to be cute and everything, but I don't get it. So you are this hunk of meat with a face, and you're trying to save your girlfriend (who is shaped like a hunk of meat also but is actually made of... Band-aids?) because she got kidnapped by some kind of brain thing I think? Umm... why? As if any of this is actually funny or something? No real interesting dynamic in the gameplay, and the story is boring. 2D puzzle platformer? There are others of your kind that do it better. NEXT!
Bloody Good Time - um isn't this basically what that one game The Ship was supposed to be sort of? Run around some weird location and kill people in weird ways! IT'S WEIRD, GET IT? yeah. So, there's some sort of film director, who wants to make horror movies or something by getting "actors" (i.e. you) to kill eachother for real on film. Like slaughterfest style. I didn't like the ship back then very much, and I don't like this bastardized new version either. BOOOOO.
Faery: Legends of Avalon - What year is it? I feel like the first Gothic game had better graphics than this, or even Goldeneye (and their hands were triangles). So... you're some fairy (not going to spell it like they did because it doesn't deserve it) and you wake up from like a thousand years sleeping in a crystal or something, and then you fly around trying to learn about magic or something... I don't know! It was boring and not interesting or fun so don't waste your time, even if you love FAIRYS.
Unbound Saga - So you're a tough guy type character in a comic book. Think Wolverine except no blades, no regenerative properties, no adamantium skeleton, no crazy hair, basically that. Like a guy who Wolverine would beat up. And I guess... you go on some rampage to save someone? Through the comic book? To be honest I didn't pay much attention as the first ten minutes of the demo are all a cutscene. And then when you finally get to play, the gameplay is awful. It's set up like an old arcade fighting game where it's sort of in 2D but you can walk across the street as well as down it, only it's hard to actually hit people and fight. The most redeeming thing about that game is the girl that fights alongside you because she has a big rack. And if you want to see a big rack, there's plenty of other places to do that. CAPITALIZED WORD HERE.
The Deep Cave - this indie game falls extremely short in most aspects of what makes a game interesting. With it's 8-bit style graphics to help lure you in to a sense of nostalgia, you are rudely awoken by a game whose physics seem to run at hyperspeed for no real reason. You control this character who you make fall into a cave down 3 or 4 panels until he finally says, "oh no, i'm in a cave help me get out?" Um, sure I thought that was the point? And so now you have to navigate this cave, you 8-bit wonder who seems to jump up and fall faster than any reasonable semblance of gravity would allow. OH no there's bad guys down there! good luck avoiding them because they seem to move freakishly fast as well. I get the feeling there was something very wrong with this game. It played like the Xbox was too fast of a processor for itself. However, shame on the Devs if they made this deliberately fast. Basically the speed of a person jumping up and down was standardized over time. If everything moves faster than the first super mario brothers, you fucked up.
That's all for now, I have to hold a few close for next time!
p.s. Crazy Taxi just came out on the Xbox. Not as fun as I remember. Disappointing : (
No comments:
Post a Comment