The Den. Like Chatroulette, but with less demands for nudity.

BOYFRIEND I THINK

If it was that bad, maybe you should get off the site. 

WHATEVER THE MAIN GIRLS NAME IS

I'm not just gonna give up on the study, the school gave me a lot of money to do this, i can't just tell them i changed by mind.

BOYFRIEND I THINK

I don't know what you want me to say, it's the internet, you should have expected something like this.

Ever hear of the movie "The Den"? No? You haven't? But Rotten Tomatoes gave it an 80%! I.... I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it. It's on Netflix, but it's like deep in Netflix crap. Deep crap.

Originally released in Russia as Death Online (which is how this specific movie landed on my radar. I hear Russian horror movies, and I get all giddy. They'll eventually release a NightWatch/DayWatch 3, just keep waiting).

So remember in the early 200000s when omegle and chatroulette sites were all the rage? Remember how now they're not, and now everyone has [INSERT CURRENT TREND HERE] and [ADDITIONAL CURRENT TREND HERE] instead? (I'll stay topical forever dammit). Hey this movie remembers!

It's a found footage film, and the main character dies in the end. (Screw spoilers, you won't watch it).

Girl gets a school grant to do research on the people you meet on video chat. She witnesses a murder and investigates it. With sexy results.

Wait no, murderous results. 

Here's an additional list of things I didn't like from the movie.

• You're on a random cam site, and you ran across >1 penis. Yeah OK.
• The main girl has a guy on the side that looks and sounds identical to the boyfriend. I'm confused by that.
• Her Sociology professor board consisted of three old white guys and one sassy younger black girl. COME ON NOW.
• There were multiple dogs shown in the movie, yet none of the dogs had starring roles.
• She mentions she got take out, a few times, but we never see the takeout, nor does she use a proper noun in reference to the takeout. Movies do this constantly "hey guys, I brought some dinner and some refreshments in a satchel!". No. I want to know what you're eating, because you're boring me movie.
• The main girl looks foreign, and her sister doesn't, what's with that. 
• Multiple times throughout the movie it shows someones computer screen, not a single one of those screens had multiple tabs of porn open. Completely unrealistic.
• Her desktop. Ok so having a few folders on the desktop, fine. But her's are like sporadically scattered across the cloud wallpaper. I couldn't even be bothered to find a picture. Why that's annoying? She makes her bed every damn morning. Not only have you killed a stranger on the internet, but you've killed my trust in character development. Killed

The found footage medium so rarely works because it completely relies on the story and atmosphere to get anywhere. No real settings, just ambience and the reliable "did something just move in the darkly lit area, SOMETHING DID MOVE? OH GOODNESS, WHAT MOVED".

Found footage medium wouldn't work anywhere else, not in books or audio, because (well yes aside from the fact that it's footage), but also because you only get snippets of a story. One minute they're in the woods, one minute they're at home, but you're only seeing what they "see". Make a found footage movie from the aspect of a bookshelf in a spare bedroom or something, something interesting. You get 45 minutes of silence and then the occasional yelling.

Oh what? That would be too boring? Because the hour and a half I wasted on The Den was absolutely more interesting..... yeah, think about that.

For this medium to work, I need a few things. I need to feel empathy for the main character, I need either much more detail, or significantly less detail. Let me know every single thing about the character and how they got to where they are OR tell me nothing and let my mind fill in the blanks. 

If within the first 20 minutes of the movie, I see that she's cheating (or maybe not? idek), I immediately stop giving a shits about what might happen to her. Especially when she's mean to her boyfriend. But Doug, you don't know what the boyfriend did, maybe he was horrible to her?? NOPE. That's where you're wrong, I don't know what he did, I only know what the movie tells me, and the movie tells me she's cheating. 

You can infer it from her interaction with her boyfriend that he fucked up somewhere in the past? I see, so now you're essentially wanting me to create backstory where there is none. This all is the work of the author, not the viewer. Since the movie decided to give me some backstory, that's what I have to work with. Hell, from what they've given me, I can assume she's some horrible sadistic child murderer on the flee from the law and pretending to be a grad student somewhere.

Long story short, I should feel something for your main character if you want me to continue. If I, as the viewer, am not given the information as to why I should care for her, I'm not going to be vested in the story. She dies, and I think "well, the fucking way she goes boys". 

Overall the movie could have been a short story. Or it could have been a terrible sequel to feardotcom (which has an adorable wiki page here . This article has multiple issues indeed wikipedia).

All in all, it's a terribly written, acted, and designed movie. But as is my nature to marathon through them, complain loudly to a cat about them, then blog them. It's my calling.

Oh, it's also called The Den because that's the name of the website. There were no showing of dens, snugs, rumpus rooms, man caves, offices, home libraries, or computer rooms. Way to go movie. 

Also also, that bit of dialogue up top perfectly displays what was wrong with this movie. It was released as a video on demand film, ironic.

And finally, I wrote this entire blog while listening to the Heat soundtrack.

FaaaarCrrrryyyyy out loudddd. Just keep it inside...

Years ago, long before any of you were even thought of, it was the early 2004s. Times were tough. Stuff was happening, that guy was doing things, music was happening, it was a different time.

Taco Bell was still on point though.

Crytek made a delightful game called Far Cry 1. It was your standard FPS in the jungle. Sold just fine, made lots of people happy, helped Crytek get noticed. No biggie smalls right?

So naturally they came out with Far Cry 2 four years later. They took what people liked from the first, added some fire elements, some super smart AI, some tricks they'd learned from their super successful Crysis series, and made another solid FPS. There were some spin-offs and some tie-in games released under the Far Cry series between FC1 and FC2. Look, it was the 200000s, it's what we did back then.

Good on ya boys.

Then came Far Cry 3, take everything you've learned from the last handful of games, and make a much more solid and enjoyable open-world FPS. Far Cry 2 was open world too, but different, still felt linear.


Far Cry 3 was enjoyable, had decent (but essentially worthless) replayability, and was a perfect game for people who had that Fallout 3 explore and shoot-itch. You played a young man on a vacation with some friends, when events turns unfortunate for the group. Disaster, heartbreak, fear and adventure ensue. In the end you make some decisions that decide things, and come to some conclusions that conclude things. Why do I even summarize these things when I can have wikipedia use my words for me.

Far Cry 3 is set on a tropical Asian-Pacific archipelago called the Rook Islands. The game's protagonist is a young American man named Jason Brody who is trying to save his imprisoned friends and escape the hostile islands after a vacation gone wrong. He gets involved with the Rakyat, the native people of the island, and in return for their assistance, sets out to help them reclaim the island from its pirate invaders. (THEIR PIRATE LORD IS NAMED VAAS)


Thanks wikipedia!! All caught up? Wonderful.

Now here's the summary for Far Cry 4 from wikipedia. 

Ajay Ghale, After the death of his mother Ishwari, returns to his home country of Kyrat to carry out her final wish by scattering her ashes. Shortly after arriving in the region, the bus he was on gets stopped by Royal Army and after their passports were denied they started to shoot at the bus and killing most of Ajay's companions. Pagan Min arrives in his helicopter and takes Ajay and Darpan, an old man who acts as his guide, to Paul ''DePleur'' Harmon's fortress. The country's eccentric and violent king Pagan Min talks to Ajay and indicates that he knew Ajay's mother and was romantically involved with her. Pagan leaves Ajay alone for a few minutes, and Ajay flees the fortress with his mother's ashes (you can stay at the table until Pagan comes back to finish the game).


So. If I'm reading this right. Some guy goes to a foreign place, some shit goes down, and he ends up fighting to save the place. Far Cry 2 you're a mercenary sent to kill someone. Far Cry 1 you're a boat captain who ends up getting tossed into some crazy shit in the jungles. (OK KIDDING, YOU'RE A FORMER SUPER SOLDIER WHO IS HIRED TO TAKE A REPORTER SOMEWHERE, BUT YOU GET THE GIST).

What I'm getting at here is the plots are always somewhat vague. Which usually isn't a big problem in FPS games. There have been sketchier plots.

A cyberattack that cripples the Chinese Stock Exchange; in response, the Chinese government bans the export of rare earth elements which the entire infrastructure of the US Army runs and relies on, fermenting the start of the Second Cold War between the United States and NATO, against the Chinese-led Strategic Defense Coalition. 

That's one of the actual plots from COD:Black Ops II.


I think my biggest problem with the plots of Far Cry is how hard they try to write them. In 3 and 4 you have this massive character decision, sometimes sprinkled throughout the game. There's a line of decision making I enjoy in my video games. Mass Effect, for example, approaches the issue with a wide selection of choices, each one deliberately thought out and with consequences. In that you can choose how you want your character to play out, and then deal with the storyline to your preference.

Far Cry.... you don't give me that option. You write your characters in a specific fashion, one that any normal person might disagree with, and then hand me back the controls.

Yikes, fucked this up for you did i?
Far Cry, I didn't even want to do that, isn't my character supposed to be a badass?
Yeah, except not here, here he totally flips the script bro.
Nope. No. There will be no script flippage here.

It's an essential element of any good story. You have a main character who has a motivation, he comes across a conflict, addresses the conflict in accordance with his motivation, then deals with the result. The falling action (or denouement if you're nasty).

It's a big reason why I have such trouble reading James Ellroy books. You have a main character you understand and feel like you can see through, then halfway through the story, he completely fucks it up. (Read Clandestine, Brown's Requiem, Blood On The Moon, it's Ellroy's early work, but it shows this perfectly. Also, don't read those books, they're really long and frustrating and books).

You simply can't have the main character that I play make decisions in the game that I don't agree with. Sorry bub, doesn't work like that. Because, and I'll tell you why, once he makes that decision, I don't want to control him anymore. You've forced your story onto my shooty/stabby adventure, and you've made it a key element.

Far Cry 3 did this in spades. The main character makes a decision near the end of the game that doesn't fit any reasonable expectation for the character. He makes a number of smaller decisions throughout the game that damage his reputation as an actual hero. Sure, you're trying to save a tribe of people, but at the cost of your friends well being? Ahuh.


So.. what's this gotta do with Far Cry 4? Does nearly the same thing. I don't understand the character's motivation, I don't understand how he can quickly take up arms against something, but at other times ignore huge motivating factors completely. I don't want to ruin too much, but he does some weird shit.

BUT THIS IS A SHOOTER, SO WHY IN THE HELL IS THERE SO MUCH STORYLINE?

Exactly. You can have an overall plot, even main protagonist involvement emotionally, but when it changes the flow of the game... come on son. That's really my big gripe with the game, FC3 and FC4. You're trying too hard to make it a cinematic storyline-driven game when people want to play it for the mechanics and gameplay style.

YOU'VE SKINNED A BILLION ANIMALS, BUT MONTHS LATER, EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL YOU SKIN STILL COMES WITH A VOCAL "UGGHHH" FROM YOU? NO.

No. Same thing happens in FC3 too. You have such hesitation about skinning an animal, but a few days later you're skinning everything in sight. Sure, it's just a sound effect. BUT IF YOU WRITE THE GAME TO SHOW EMOTIONAL IMPACT FROM YOUR MAIN CHARACTER ABOUT CERTAIN ACTIONS, THOSE EMOTIONAL HINDRANCES SHOULDN'T REMAIN THROUGHOUT THE GAME. 

So you end up with this horribly mis-balanced character, who is motivated by who the fuck knows, and is trying to save something that he clearly had no ties to previous to this adventure. Why would I want to control that? What would keep me from skipping the cut scenes?

oh you. You'd keep me from skipping the cut scenes. I see. The game doesn't allow it. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME GAME? WE'RE FIGHTING FOR THE FREEDOM OF OUR VILLAGE??

Not only that, but there are two different leaders of the tribe, and I have to pick whom to listen to and do missions for. So... I can choose between two good people? What sort of fucking outcome do I get from that?

And finally..... Far Cry 4..... Pagan Min, the evil dictator ruling your country is actually the least of your concerns. It's obvious you're just a fictional version of Tibet. Very obvious. Nothing wrong with that, but GOOD LORD IF IT'S TIBET YOU HAVE A BIGGER ISSUE THAN PAGAN MIN, YOU HAVE CHINA.

But that's all neither here nor there. I read the ending for the game. Two screens worth of explaining. Needless to say, your character makes all sorts of weird decisions, mostly for no reason whatsoever. No underlying motivation, mostly just a "choose A or B, congratulations, you choose this one because of nothing"

I just want to shoot. I want to drive fast cars, and shoot stuff, and explore. The plot could be non-existent for all I care. But when the game is hindered by plot, that gets old.

Aside from the ambitious writers, the game does have a ton of high points. It's a solid shooter with everything we've come to expect from the Far Cry series. I just found myself skipping most of the cutscenes and ignoring most of the storyline. Because at the end of the day, I have games like Mass Effect and Dragon Age who, frankly, do a much better job of writing a concise yet deep story. That sort of thing doesn't just belong to BioWare either. Bioshock and Red Dead do an excellent job of telling deep stories while not interrupting the game itself.

All too often I feel like games subject the player to "here sit and walk with this guy while we explain way too much about the story to you, ok now here's how you crouch, shoot and run, anyway... more story". That feeling you get when you start off playing a game for the first time and you know it's going to be an hour or more before you really get taken off the leash.

Not that Far Cry is the only series guilty of it, but the game could shine so much more without all the backstory. On either side of the fence you have games that handle storyline completely different. Dragon Age with their pages and pages of story and subplot and everything else, and you have COD with its rough semblance of a storyline just deep enough so you can understand your geographic location and know what outfits to shoot at.

I want to love the Far Cry series, and for the most part I do. I just don't care for the storyline and poorly planned out lead character I pilot. It's not that kind of game, and I doubt anyone is really expecting it to be. Skip over all the fluff and backstory of the game, and you have a consistently solid shooter with great mechanics, beautiful landscapes and tons of hours to spend in it. IF I WANTED A STORY I'D READ A BOOK.

......who am I kidding, if I wanted a story, I'd watch half of the movie based on the book, and google the ending.

Ooooo OooooOooo weeeee. Dyyyying Light....is boring.

Hey kid, come here. Did you know zombies were the in thing right now?

GET AWAY FROM ME STRANGER FROM 2009. I AM AWARE OF WHAT WAS COOL BACK THEN.

I played Dying Light Island Riptide, or whatever.

The morning the game was released, Gamestop made a mistake. You buy the season pass for the PS4 online, they give you the code for the fullgame instead. Whoops. Good thing it didn't get onto Reddit.

OH CRAP IT DID EVERYONE GET UP AND BUY IT.

Two hours after the mistake was found, everyone who saw it, got it. But then get this, you ready? Sitting down? They're going to give to anyone who tried to buy the season pass online (with the intention of getting the full game for cheap) the season pass for free. You fools.

(See I can say stuff like that now, because, look LET ME FINISH THE BLOG).

Sos I got the game. Played it, begrudgingly, because I have all these other games I need to play and frankly I don't have the time toblogabouteveryoneandmaybei'mjustbusywiththingsnandstuffandchadhasn'tinvitedmetothedanceandhesgoingtoaskthatbitchbritany!!!

RECIPE FOR MAKING ONE DYING LIGHT.

• 1 part Mirrors Edge.
• 1 part Dead Island
• a dash of difficulty from dark souls, or whatever (night scenes man)

Put it into the setting from Spec Ops (somewhere sandy, I didn't own a globe as a child). Make it look super nice, and you have Dying Light. Not that it's a bad thing, just..... I dunno, something about running from zombies and crafting makeshift weapons feel like a dance I've danced before. and I don't dance.

The storyline is something, as in you're a super secret spy being sent in to investigate blah blah blah. I kinda preferred the vague story from Dead Island (you're a rapper...but sort of, and you fight zombies). There are two factions that are battling to survive amidst the apocalypse, and a ton of hilarious townsfolk to spice things up a bit.

The game looks gorgeous, but it's expected on the next gen systems. There's a ton of clipping and drop in issues, but it's expected on the next gen systems. Everything moves as smoothly as expected. The interfaces work well enough; craft weapons here, upgrade skills here, here's a map, do these things. For real though, it's a much cleaner upgrade of Dead Island.

But see that's the issue, there wasn't really anything wrong with Dead Island. You got on, jumped into friends game, and ran around completing tasks.

Wait, Techland. You mean they made.... but you just came out with Dead Island Riptide, then you make Dying Light to...

Dying Light, in summation, is Dead Island 3, or Dead Island Next Gen.

What else can be said, they took what people enjoyed from the Dead Island series, added some flash and dazzle, ramped up the parkour elements, and continued with what they knew.

Techland was smart...ish. They cancelled releasing the game on PS3 and 360. Why's that smart? Well, because. Releasing the game on both last and current gen systems means you have two factories making the same game for completely different results. The last gen system versions wouldn't sell.

It's tough when people start to feel forced to buy new systems, because well.... THAT'S ANOTHER BLOG FOR A LATER DATE.

K. So that's where we are. So what's different? What's new? Is there a reason for me to buy this game over any of the other zombie survival games out there? And what's all this I hear about cooperation?

You'll initially want to buy the game if you know of anyone who already owns it. Simple enough. The co-op in this game brings back the fun/terror of Dead Island on the next gen systems. While most people have tossed out their old systems, they might not have gotten out their hankering for some good old fashion co-op. Otherwise, it's a great way to make some friends on PSN if you find yourself lacking warm bodies who own the newer systems. 

New? I dunno. More weapons, the parkour system (seriously, it's IDENTICAL to Mirror's Edge, but no complaints here, since we're clearly not seeing a sequel anytime soon), and then there's the night mode. Oh lawd the night mode. 

The game gets smart in where at night, it gets cray. Stronger zombies who can jump, climb and run just like you are out and about, along with a biiiig increase in the amount of average lumbering fools running the streets. It makes it so that the night game on Dying Light turns into more of a stealth game than anything else. It's a good break from the norm, albeit frustrating when missions don't give you the option to choose night or day.

Should you buy this game? No. Not unless you know for a fact that you have someone you can play with regularly. Otherwise, I have a sneaking suspicion that this game will quickly become cheaper in the near future. At $40 and $15-$20 for additional DLC, it would be a decent, but don't go shelling out a full $60 just yet.

Tag team, Back again, check and direct, and let's begin.

Who knew that one day the words scribed by Stephen Gibson and Cecil Glenn would be the title of an internet blog entry. Tag Team came out with two albums, no foolin, then nearly a decade later came out with a "Best Of" album. Those tenacious bastards.

AT. ANY. RATE.

I'm back. Did you miss me? I've missed you. Seems like forever since we last chatted. So pull up your favorite blanket, download some sort of fireplace app, and get cozy. I've got a whole mess of reviews and entries coming down the line for you. Oh you want a sample?

Well fine.

• Dying Light (or how I got a free game, then a free season pass)
• Assassin's Creed Unity/Rogue (SO TOPICAL RIGHT NOW)
• The Saboteur.
• Far Cry 4
• Alien: Isolation
• Forcing you buy a new system

Wait, you're telling me I did a Saboteur review? You mean it's somewhere right now out in the ether of the world wide webs? Look skeptical friend, I just beat the game today. YES I AM AWARE THAT ITS A 4 YEAR OLD GAME, WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?

So... now that we're alone. What have you been up to lately? Me? Oh nothing much, just writing a book or two. No but seriously, books. Wrote them. I mean they aren't that good *passively kicks rock on ground*. But in that time I fear I've neglected what you and I shared. I also went through about 8 billion different jobs, because you know I'm cool like that.


OH! Add another topic to that list up top. I don't feel like scrolling.

Whatever, lazy. I had to leave my industry of selling video games by day, why you ask? Well you'll just have to read the blog.

WITH THAT BEING SAID. Let's line up that spine up, dine up that wine up, and rock out with your blog out.

Xbox 360's Binary Domain

I've been playin games. What have you been doing?


Aaaaaaaat any rate. I love single player, 10-20hr, third or first person shooters that hardly make waves.

Binary Domain is one of those games. The Japanese made this game. It has a very heavy Final Fantasy/ MGS vibe to it. But come on, you can't beat a straight-forward shooter with a simple concept, simple storyline, and solidly presented gameplay.

Something about robots looking like humans, and an evil robot manufacturing plant taking over the world. Or something. Post-war soldiers all group up from different countries and head out to arrest the leader of this evil plant. Yup, simple storyline.

I mean, in a sense it's simple. A group of soldiers trying to capture a single person.

The storyline allows for lots of strange situations, giant robot creatures (a robot motorcycle-thing with a rail-gun chase on a highway), but they all seem.... plausible? Well, if nothing else, they'll remind you of some of the weird summons you find in FF.

It's a third-person shooter, on a solid engine. You can rush to and from cover, shoot from cover, roll, duck, dodge, dip, dive, and... dodge. I never once was frustrated with the controls. That's more and more a big reason why I'll continue to play a game, if the controls are solid and effective.

You play as Dan, an American teamed up with a bunch of others, blah blah blah. Dan is a relatively likeable guy, if not a little stubborn. The interactions between the other characters are standard for the most part. You're given opportunities to reply to teammates questions and statements, which builds or destroys their trust in you.

This trust system is pretty common in games today, if not a bit overused. I was generally well-liked by most people on my team. You do lose trust for friendly fire, which to me didn't exactly seem fair since the AI sometimes has a tendency to try to take the same cover spot you're using, or just blatantly walk in front of you while you're unloading a clip. But it's nothing a "good job" later on from you can't fix.

I like to keep these short. So think Gears of War if they wanted you to finish it in about 20 hours, not remember any of the characters names, and just overall like the game. There's multiplay too, but no one plays it. Sorry, fact.

Will I play it again? Probably not. Was it worth buying? Absolutely. A good action shooter is a nice time-waster if you don't have hours and hours to devote to a game. Any major flaws? Not really, a few cover hiccups here and there. There's depth in the game if you really search for it, but on the surface the game is just fine enough. Think of it like any number of rainy Saturday afternoon movies. They're entertaining as hell while you're watching/ playing, don't make much of an impact, and only take up as much time as you'll allow it. I say give it a chance, you most likely won't regret it. If nothing else, it's a good rental for a few days.

So you've just found out you have the templars curse...

Cursed Crusade on 360 and PS3. Ever heard of it? Probably not. Ever heard of Atlus? Maybe. They were guilty of such titles as Catherine, Divinity 2, Rock of Ages, Operation Darkness, and King of Fighters.

Now before you fan boys start to flip out, I own every single SMT game they made for the PS2 and PSP, so you know.... I got the chops.

At any rate, Atlus is known for their rather difficult and unforgiving RPG, JRPG, and RTS games. Divinity, KOF, and Rock of Ages were a few outliers. Then along comes Cursed Crusade.

Not kidding, the title of this blog is also the tag line for the game. The concept is pretty confusing, but basically, you're a templar of sorts, you join up with a spaniard, and you both have matching curses. It's a french game, made by french people, with french tendencies, in a french area, so you'll notice a few slight irregularities in the game. Mainly the odd accents, and the very small amount of gaming guts (menus, tutorials, class descriptions and the likes).

Why am I even discussing this game? How did I run across it? It came out a few weeks ago and was $60. Now we all know I love to play obscure games that no one else will touch. (Sherlock Holmes vs Jack The Ripper I'm looking at you), but $60 this fall was a bit rich for my blood. 2 weeks after it was released, it dropped in price to $40, then to $30 the following week. A clear sign that this was a game I needed to get my hands on. A bad game being released in this day and age is alway so strange I simply must be a part of it.

So what is it? Basically a co-op hack and slash. You have a bevy of weapon combinations you can use, two swords, two maces, one sword, one mace, great sword, sword and mace, you get it. You and the NPC or you and a pal run around and... well, hack and slash. To add a bit of flair to the gameplay, you have a curse where you turn into a demon and can use magical attacks. This all takes place during the templar crusades. Get it? Cursed cru... nevermind.

Why isn't a split-screen co-op flying off of the shelves? Well, probably because people don't know it is what it is. Or maybe because they decided to release this fall, amongst a dozen other AAA games. Or maybe it's because no one is expecting a decent co-op split screen to ever be released again?

I played the crap out of their other 360 slasher Divinity 2. Now I know I know, it wasn't originally an Atlus game, but any Oblivion/Gothic-esque game I can get my hands on (aside from Gothic 4) I'll play the crap out of.

Any big problems with the game? Sadly no. This is one of the few titles I wish would get some recognition, since it doesn't do anything terrible, and it doesn't do any one thing that great, it's just basic mayhem. Reminds me of most of the games released in the early 2000s, nothing that ground breaking, just good fun.

Buy, rent, or avoid? I'd say rent. Give it a whirl for a weekend, you'll enjoy the time you spend with it. Buy it if you have another gamer living amongst you, for $30 you both will easily be able to get 100% out of it, and still have the ability to replay.

Furtive is just another word for sneaky.

Been playin Assassins' Creed: Brotherhood recently. I know I know, Batman, Battlefield, Uncharted, they're all waiting for me, but I'm annoyed that I never finished Assassins Creed before. I finished the first Batman when it came out. I finished Battlefield ages ago. I'm almost finished with Uncharted 2. Look, I got busy! Moral of the story, I've been playing older games over again. Except I'm stuck. Yep, stuck on AC:B. I understand that some of the missions have to be sneaky, and they don't want you to get caught, but it doesn't make any damn sense.

I'm a highly trained, seasoned, and equipped assassin. I've killed hundreds, hundreds more will fall, but get caught by one guard on a single mission, and the whole thing goes down. Now I can understand if it's something storyline specific, like you're tailing someone. But if I'm trying to just capture Da Vinci's weapons? I can't get caught then? I suppose I understand that they're trying to break up the monotony of the gameplay, but come on.... some people had to have gotten to those parts and gone "forget it, done with this game".

I'm not going to be one of them. I'll take a break, play something else, then go back to that game and see if I can figure it out. But I am also extremely stubborn, and I have also played through all of Rogue Warrior, so my tolerance for bad games knows no bounds.

There are already super-sneaky games out there, and most of them fail horribly. If everyone wanted to play a sneak-only game, they would be demanding Thief to finally be remade. They would be hailing Velvet Assassin as one of the greatest games ever. Splinter Cell would win game of the year consistently. But here's the thing, gamers get tired of the super sneaky. Well.... most gamers. Not all, and not you if they're your cup of tea. But let's face it, I probably talk to about 50 gamers every day, and not a one of them actually prefers the sneaky missions.

It's just messing with the flow of the game!!! Come on! "Yeah, killed that guy, oooo! killed 2 guys at once, then stole a bunch of gold! Awesome!.... oh... one guy 4 buildings over saw me, and I failed". It's not "oh you've been caught and we're going to send 30 guards to kill you. Because you'd be able to handle that, oh no, the game just uses the god ability and forces you to try it again.

This all raises an interesting point that the Assassin's Creed series actually isn't a sandbox game, and should quit acting like it. You're required to go from A to B to C, but you can make detours on the way, so it might seem like you're directing the action. If nothing else, just give me a reason to demand sneaking. That's it. A door would close or a person would be notified or something? Anything. Just quit using the scapegoat that it's what you're supposed to do.


On a side note, both Assassins Creed and Splinter Cell are made by Ubi Soft. Now I like the company, but they have some changes to start making. Splinter Cell allowed you to try to take everyone on if you were caught, but you had limited armor, so it made it a bit more clever. You can't use the same theory for Assassins Creed?

Revelations will be a great game, I'm a little surprised at the amount of editions they've come out with.
link and scroll down to "marketing"

Meanwhile, COD will be basically releasing a single edition. And outsell Assassins Creed by millions. Comical at best.


Let's not get off topic. Sneaky. All the way back to games like MGS I've had no interest in sneaking around. Sure getting a kill or two stealth-style is always fun, I guess. Ugh.... Manhunt. I don't need to say anything else.

Ok maybe I do. I'm not saying that game was good, I'm saying that what I feel like I have to accomplish each time I get a stealth kill. But not only that, Assassins Creed wants me to stealth all around, but not even kill anyone! Since bodies make it obvious! Just not something I feel like doing right now. What's even more hilarious is the idea of stealth 1st person. Deus Ex I'm looking at you. Yes I got caught, and often. Good thing I had a completely upgraded shotgun with a silencer. No need to run to that alarm panel. Also, Goldeneye. Siberia base, "don't let the cameras catch you!".....can I just shoot out the cameras?...."well......yes". Those, all of those made more sense then- OH! YOU'VE BEEN CAUGHT. THE PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE. NO FAIRES IN JARS. START THE F OVER.

Maybe it's just a pet peeve of mine, but what can kill a killer? Well, according to Assassin's Creed, being seen by some nobody on top of a guard tower. Not spears, swords, crossbows and poison, but a simple observation. Jane Goodall > Ezio.