Judgements what I got in-store, Judgement on the PS4.

It's called Judge Eyes in Japan. 

Ooooooh girl, check out that mans by the bar, he's got those Judge Eyes. I think I'm going to talk to him.

The man at the bar.

Uhh Becky, that's not a handsome guy at the bar, that's an Eurasian Eagle-Owl. I don't even know what he's doing at this SoHo bar, those predatory birds are localized in Europe and Russian primarily. This bar doesn't even serve rodents, they serve drinks for humans.

Oh wait, he's buying drinks. WAIT UP FOR ME BECKY.


That little story? That tale of warning? A dark demise for Becky and her friend who was also named Becky who didn't realize that the man she was sliding up to was actually one of the largest species of owl, belonging to the genus Bubo? That story?

YEAH THAT STORY MADE MORE SENSE THAN THE STORY-LINE OF JUDGMENT. What you just read was more believable and sensical than the storyline of old Judge Eyes.

Judgment's plot issues. I guess.

Judgment is an open-world action-adventure game, from the same house that made the Yakuza series. Hell the entire game takes place in the same exact city as Yakuza. Yakuza is the Japanese version of GTA/Red Dead. Sort of. Open world cinematic series. Whatever. Now that that's out of the way, let's get cooking-

I'll spare you the plot. It's confusing, takes some weird turns near the end. I watched every single cut-scene, even read a few explanations after I finished the game, and was still left wondering "but then why did this and this and those things do that???" No fault of the devs, probably entirely me not understanding Japanese culture subtleties and maybe Japanese courtroom procedural things. BUT SOME SHIT JUST SEEMED WEIRD FOR WEIRD SAKE. SO Instead give you some highlights and you'll see why they make no sense.

• You fight doctors in a hospital that you broke into. When you defeat all of the doctors, you fight the security guards, then the police. This is after you'd already broken into the hospital/research center about a half dozen times. Each time you're in the research hospital, they kick you out and ask you to leave. Give it about another 30 minutes, and the main character says "lets go back, I have to ask them another question". Now maybe in Japan they're a bit more lax to trespassing, and most people tell the truth to random private investigators about crimes they committed. 
• But uhhh.... here in America, I was banned from a Chinese buffet (for valid reasons) and straight lied to the police about it. But hey, different strokes I guess.

• Guns are mostly banned in Japan. But sure enough, one roving gang leader that just wanders the streets will fight me the moment he sees me, and pull out two guns and just starts blasting. Crowds of people surround us to watch. REALISM? I DUNNO. But early in the game, anyone who has a gun and shoots me, you know as they do, I lose a little recoverable health. This gang leader shoots me? Permanent health loss. He's got one of them ultra damaging guns, it's probably a DLC weapon or some shit. ALSO EVERY SINGLE TIME SOMEONE BRINGS OUT A GUN, MY MAIN CHARACTER POINTS OUT "HEY THOSE ARE ILLEGAL". First of all, you're an ex lawyer turned private detective. Secondly, that's a real laid back way to address your imminent death. YOU CAN'T KILL ME, KILLING ME IS ILLEGAL!!

• On one of the dates you go on (I SAID IT WAS A JAPANESE GAME), you tell the girl that your preferred girls are usually 15 years younger than you. Bruh. Weren't you a lawyer? And also you are 35 in the game, and the girl you're dating is living at home with her parents. BUT HEY, DIFFERENT STROKES I GUESS. 

Kids? Guns? COLD SHOULDER.

You track down an old man who's exposing himself to girls, you fight all sorts of folks with clear mental issues, you buy drinks from a girl with a big chest because she lacks a personality and confidence, you're dating multiple women, get a severe head wound near the end of the game that everyone calls "temporary fogginess", you track down multiple killers, slam guys heads into car doors, but somehow never once kill someone. It's a Yakuza game, so it's expected.

Now considering that all that is in the game, there was a bit of drama with the lead voice actor. The original actor was arrested for suspicion of cocaine use, and had his voice removed from the game, as well as delaying the release of said game.

For possible use of cocaine. Removed from the game for possible cocaine use.

Don't get me wrong, I love RDJ. I'm saying that sometimes your good actors have to have a little pep in their step. Don't delay the game (and in my opinion ruin possible sales) because of what a voice actor did. But again, DIFFERENT STROKES.

What do I like about the game? 

The fighting is good, on par with usual Yakuza games. You're limited in how many fighting styles you can have, but Yakuza Zero spoiled me with their 3 fighting styles, Judge Eyes only has 2. The writing is goofy and weird and hilarious and all the things you'd expect from a Yakuza game. The side quests and mini-games have heart and interest. Story was a little long, and dragged near the end, but that's starting to seem like a standard for Japanese action games like this.

What do I not like? 

Little stuff. Nitpicky stuff. There are the roaming gangs that want to fight you. Outrunning them doesn't always work. So when you're going from Main Story-line Point A to Main Story-line Point B, you'll get stopped at least 3 times by these gangs. You fight 3 or 4 guys, then you're back to the main game. There's  a way to stop these random encounters but you can't do it until after the game is over.

Come to think of it. I just now realized it. That's exactly what these are. Random Encounters. These are the jellies in the fields of Dragon Quest. Ok cute and all, but then let me get to the castle or town, or whores-bath or whatever. I'm not trying to grind stats.

OH THAT'S THE OTHER THING I DON'T LIKE. The stat progression is a little....lax. You can upgrade your health, speed, and attack, but only three times. And each jump requires a hefty chunk of experience points. All other upgrades are special moves, that you really won't use. "Press square 4 times, triangle 1 time, square 2 times". NOPE. IMMA BASH THE BUTTONS AND SQUISH THEM DUDES.

You play as Yagami. He's showing off his lawyer badge. He's very proud of it.

It's a good game! 

The music is sparse, but good. Controls are nice and tight. You'll get 20 hours out of it if you try to do like 70% of the tasks, but you'll want to. There are few fetch quests, and even then it's fairly quick.

Near the end of the game, I felt like I was going through the motions a bit. Story-line got weird, but you could tell it was near the end, so it was justified.

I'm realizing that the chunky, satisfying 3rd person action games that I do so love and enjoy are gone.

Freedom Fighters, Ratchet and Clank, Jax, Bloodrayne, Punisher, Triggerman, Syphon Filter, I'm just looking at my shelves but those are some of the games that jump out. There were more on the 360, but I'm way too lazy to scoot over and check. Crackdown? Stranglehold? You get the idea. I'm realizing those games are dead, but their more modern incarnation are games like Yakuza and Judgement. Fine by me. I like GTA and Red Dead, but Rockstar is incapable of making a more manageable and complete-able game (THEY'RE ALSO INCAPABLE OF MAKING A BULLY 2).

Give Judgement a try. If you like it, you'll enjoy the Yakuza series. If you don't like it, fine. It's absolutely not everyone's cup of tea. But it's fitting into a category that American developers just don't seem to focus on. An American based action-adventure game has to either be a 700 hour ordeal, or as low budget as possible.

Plus you can hit on Japanese women and not feel creepy. 

I'm not saying I'm a neckbeard, but the threat is always lurking, in the corners near my Gundam displays and hiding within my cargo shorts pockets.

REGULAR BASEBALL HATS DON'T FIT MY HEAD, AND I ENJOY ANIME AND JAPANESE CULTURE AND STRUGGLING WITH WEIGHT IS A SERIOUS ISSUE, BUT I'M TRYING TO LOOK CLASSY.

Quarantine, the digital game, and don't do what Doug-Don't does.

"Man, I bet this quarantine will result in so many shitty podcasts and blogs coming out that it'll become the next pandemic".

Jokes on you, me from a few weeks ago, I had a shitty podcast and blog before this, so HA.

But almost entirely the joke's on me.


HEY. YOU STUCK AT HOME? BEING BORED? TRYING NOT TO VIRUS? Yeah, me too. LUCKILY!!! It's only been like a few years since I've last posted. HOWEVER. In that time, I ran a website too, and it went horribly. Not by any fault of my own. I was told I was being too negative in my posts by some shitasses that didn't know their ass from their face. I'm not negative. I'm a ray of fucking sunshine. 2REAL. But since that website is now gone, I have a few dozen posts (intelligently saved by me in this blog) that I can repost. SO DON'T WORRY KIDS, YOU'LL HAVE READING MATERIAL.

Looking back on my old posts, I literally post once a year. LIKE A DRUNKEN TEXT FROM YOUR EX I HAVE RETURNED. And I'm bringing critical truths that I plan to yell at you while crying. Just like Brian used to do. (Please insert your applicable Ex's name to make that joke work, thanks for the assist)

There I was kid, hiding in my house from the old Bat flu. I decided one rainy and fateful night to re-do my entire inventory. I'm not trying to brag, but the collection is in the 4 digits world. That's not even a weird flex, that's a desperate plea for help to contain this collecting addition. HAHAHA JUST KIDDING. Totally kidding, this life is great. Hah... I apparently own three versions of L.A. Noire. HOW FUN IS THAT. (OH! I'll have a post about collecting, it originated on the previously mentioned website ruined by previously mentioned shitasses. me? negative???)

So there I was thinking to myself "do I include my digital games?". But digital games can be removed at any time, the publisher can remove them, the parent company, the developers even. Hell, a copyright claim can have the game be removed. Even then, do you technically even own the game? Between free games, Games With Gold, and PSN games, how do you differentiate between "yours" and "yours but really theirs". Here's how I look at it.

1. Games I purchased with money or credits
2. Games I received from subscriptions or annual shit
3. Game Pass or PS Now games
4. Steam Sale bundles

What's technically mine? 

#1- At rough glance, I'd say #1 is a yes. And that I could add those to my inventory. Even though they could be taken away at any time, that's rare. I paid for them, and even though it's digital, some games are only available that way. 

(remind me to tell you the story about the guy who came into my Gamestop and demanded to get a physical copy of WoW. He said he didn't trust a download only game. Even though he's playing WoW. Good job kid. When you get home, don't be surprised when that disc just has some of the install files, but still requires a patch. You get nothing sir!)

#2- Sort of, but no. Even though technically I paid for a service for those, eeehhhhh. You might have a Netflix subscription, but you don't own the Tiger King (YOU HEAR ME CAROL FUCKING BASKINS). I feel like these are a flash in the pan style gaming. Sure you own them, but you didn't directly buy them. Like you didn't get an XBLA or PSN subscription specifically for that one shitty game they gave out. You got it to play COD or Destiny or... what do the kids play nowadays? Newgrounds Games. Yeah, that's why you have that subscription. Alien Hominids.

#3- This one is a hard no from me. Game Pass and PS Now both regularly remove games from their services, but like it's a known thing. And in all actuality, it's a solid move. Xbox said they were removing Just Cause 4 from Game Pass. I immediately panicked because I played it for 10 minutes and hadn't beaten the game yet. But sir, you can buy the game for 20% off before we remove it from Game Pass. DEAL! So I bought it for about $15 more than it cost before it went on Game Pass (insert capitalism joke here, or not). But even then, I didn't own the game until I bought it, I just was borrowing it from Game Pass.

#4- Steam sales? ABSOLUTELY NO. I own Torchlight on the PC like 5 times over, and don't even have a gaming PC. Steam just giving shit away. But also it's PC gaming, so I assume everyone has stolen everything. To hell with you PC Master Race. If you're using an XBox 360 controller to play your PC Steam games on the couch, you have a fancy console. Jokes on you jokers.

(Also, didn't care for the Joker movie. Absolutely no Damien Wayne, no Miles Morales, and no mention of Year Zero. I don't even understand comic movies anymore. How's that an origin story?? But for real, it was meh.)

Number 1 it is! Except.... there's no real physical existence of those games. Hypothetically if friends were over and wanted to see my game collection then.... well no that's stupid. Ok, hypothetically if I had friends and they came over and wanted to see my game collection, they'd review my lists and ask where my copy of Just Cause 4 for the Xbox One is. And I would explain to them that it's a digital only copy. They'd make a face like "cheap bastard can't even afford a physical copy" and I'd tell them to fuck off and get out of my house. I NEVER NEEDED YOU GUYS ANYWAY.

Damn hypothetical friends. Ruining my good mood. (can you believe it, a website shut down over negativity, my negativity? shitasses....).

I think for now, I'll leave my digital copies separate. Besides, when the networks finally go down, it's not like I'll be able to play those digital game anyway. Unless they're already downloaded onto my hard drive. So do I do backup hard drives filled with my digital games? No of course not, that's ridiculous. Much smarter to just buy the physical versions of all my digital games and avoid the whole thing altogether.

All kidding aside, at least I'm not one of those losers who buys cases for their digital games. YOU'RE SITTING ON A THRONE OF LIES BRIAN.

Until Dawn: Night Trap Part 2

Blogs are exactly like friends from high school.

"don't change over the summer".
Oh I'll fucking change. don't you worry Bryan.

"Glad we got to be best friends, cya in college".
Your laugh irritated me Becca. Jeez.


I've neglected you blog. And for that, I'm sorry. Here's the deal. I'll write something on you, and you don't keep judging me.

And to all those readers in Russia (don't ask me pal, google just tells me this shit)

спасибо за чтение и держать на сияющий бриллиант вас с ума!!!

Only had to use google translate a little bit. See, years ago, I took Russian because I could, now I speak it pretty krosho.

I bet you came here expecting a review on Until Dawn, That's so like you.
Fine, you drove all the way over here. Let's do this.

Until Dawn is a survival horror game on the PS4. Out now.

Oh you want that expanded on? Geez, some people.

Made by Supermassive Games, who are mostly known for a whole lot of Little Big Planet DLC, a remake of Killzone I put as much effort into as I did any other Killzone (own them all, finished none, just like everyone), and a Dr. Who game.


Ok.... first of all. No one asked for a Dr. Who game. I'M NOT A FAN OF DOCTOR WHO, JUST WARNING YOU NOW.

Here's my issue with Dr. Who. You ever stumbled on an author you like, only to find he has a massive backlog of shit he's written? Goodkind, Prachette, Adams? And when you realize to get caught up, it would require reading a fuck ton of older books. You hunker down and read through their entire catalogUE (because they're British), right? Catch up on everything that's happened so far? Yeah no, no one does that shit. You say "oh what else has he written? That many huh? Nope. Good day sir" and move on with your life.

That's how I feel about Dr. Who. Here's how I know that's the case too, there's constantly a new doctor. It's like the shows developers even know that no one would pay attention to anything that long. Is CSI still on? Is the guy from Manhunter still on CSI?

Supermassive made a Dr. Who game that got a metacritic score of 39. Out of 100. That's a lot less than 100, 39. You'd think a shit game like that (shite), would be right up my alley. I even looked it up before writing this article.

The game takes place just before the events of "Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead" in River Song's timeline as indicated by various notes within her diary as well as the use of her title of 'Professor'.

Wat. Is that a sentence? A reference to something? Words and such?

So I clicked the link that explains what Silence in the Library is, and got this.

"Silence in the Library" is the eighth episode of the fourth series of the revived British science fiction television series Doctor Who. 

 See, the issue we have here is I have no idea what's going on. SIMILAR TO UNTIL DAWN.

aaaaaaaahhuh, see how I brought it all back???

So a group of teens (the oldest looking fucking teens in the oldest world ever) are hanging out at a winter mansion owned by some kids parents. A prank is played and two of the sisters run outside and die. A year later (WHEN THE OLD ASS KIDS ARE STILL SOMEHOW IN SCHOOL), they go back to the cabin for some dumb reason. They're promptly hunted and killed off. Despite your best efforts. I mean, there's a way to keep everyone alive, sure, but who watches Friday the 13th for the romance and witty banter?

The object of the game is to keep everyone alive. But the system is the interesting part. At the surface, it's an interactive movie game, choose left or right path, button mash at the correct time, you know the song and dance. But the game switches it up a bit by adjusting based on your choices. Did you notice the baseball bat in the kitchen earlier? Later you'll be able to use that. Didn't notice it? Well screw you pal.

My point and click instincts kicked in almost immediately, so I spent waaaaaaaay too long checking for everything. It was suggested that by even doing that, I was changing the game. Well piss.

So the game bounces around between different characters throughout, and you play out each of their scenes while picking different dialogue trees, paths of travel, and items to examine. You'll get the occasional quick time event where you have to press certain buttons quickly, and sometimes where you can't even move the controller. Which, ok clever, but I'll just set it down on my gut and we're G2G.

OH! Peter Stormare is in it. Really the reason I bought it. (I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR APPEAL HAYDEN PANITEIRRE, HAYDAN PANTI.... YOU).

True story, tried to type her name into google to get proper spelling, like a proper person, and google suggested Basil Hayden's. You're absolutely right Google.

To the store!


See. what's great about a blog, it's been a day, and you didn't even notice. Went to the store, got Basil Hayden's, remembered that I hate Basil Hayden's, should have gotten Grand-Dad.

Two days later.

Peter Stormare is in it. He plays a chorus of sorts.

See, in plays of old, you'd use a chorus to sort of set the scene and setting for the performance. If they were sung, like in Greek dramas, they'd be choral odes. Useful for when you have minimal scenery or need to cover/explain a setting change. In Romeo and Juliet there's an omniscient narrator who opens the story "Two Households, both alike, in Verona" and an omniscient voice of sorts (the Prince) to end the story "Than this of Juliet and her Romeo". The idea being it's helpful to draw the observer into the story if you didn't have to have the characters explain everything, pro and epilogue style. Makes for a simpler transition. Modern playwrights tend to use soliloquy (sometimes heavily), to express setting and time. The removal of the chorus allowed for a more intimate performance.

Now you know. Also never let your kids get a BFA in Theater.

So you, as you yourself, sit and talk with Peter in between episodes of Until Dawn. So it cuts away to him in a therapist's office, and he asks you questions about what scares you. Usually asking which of two is scarier. The idea there is the game trying to tailor the experience to what would scare you specifically. Peter Stormare also makes for a fairly unbelieveable therapist. But hey, I bought into the idea that he was an Italian mob-boss so whatever. Also, he's Swedish, not Russian.


Fine. back to the game. The real problem here is I want to fully experience the game. If there are hundreds of different possible outcomes, how can I do that? You essentially can't. That's the real problem with games like this, there's an infinite number of outcomes, but basically a finite number of playthroughs. Unless you managed to make super outlandish choices after a while, you'd eventually keep coming across the same results. What, are you going to remember every decision you made and slightly alter the 15th and 59th choices on your 103rd playthrough? Nope.

So inherently, you're stuck playing a handful of times, then being done with that. It's the aspect of these types of games I can't stand. I used to love playing Dragon's Lair and Space Ace (I might own the 3DO versions, proceed to drop panties), but once you've """beaten""" the game, you can only really play through it again to fuck with it. How many times can I be killed, can I break it in this way, and so on and so forth and on.

It's a good game, but it screams rental. Lots of jumpscares, good dialogue, great graphics (like better than LA Noire facial construction), and a solid system. But at the end of the day, an 8 hour game is just that. 8 hours. Hell to do literally everything supposively takes only 20. Every ending and scene takes 200, but still....

These games aren't about how many hours though, it comes down to if you enjoy that style and want to see more of it. You pay $12 for a movie (usually more) and that's only two hours. So math math math, an 8 hour game should cost.... $48? Good thing the game came out at $60, but quickly dropped to $40.

I picked mine up for $20 which I feel is worth it. I don't necessarily want Supermassive to think I'm supporting them. (DON'T BANK YOUR ENTIRE COMPANY ON VR GAMES DAMMIT, THAT'S EGGS AND BASKETS AND NOT A THING YOU SHOULD DO). But it's what they've always done, so meh. Will their upcoming VR Until Dawn.... game.... stand up on it's own? (Can we call them games when really they're glorified demos? You show me a 30 hour VR game and I'll call it a game. Of course if you show me a 30 hour VR game, I'll quit calling it the EyeToy 3).

Oh....oh no. Wikipedia tells me-

In an interview with PlayStation LifeStyle, executive producer Pete Samuels stated that Supermassive Games is exploring the possibility of continuing Until Dawn.^[45] A spin-off, titled Until Dawn: Rush of Blood was announced by Sony at Paris Games Week 2015. Described as an arcade shooter, the game's development began in the middle of Until Dawn's development. It is set to be released for the PlayStation VR.^[57]

The following is a list of good arcade rail shooters. (IT'S GOING TO BE A RAIL SHOOTER BECAUSE EVERY ARCADE SHOOTER IS A RAIL SHOOTER. IT'S A FANCY WAY TO SAY RAIL). Arcade shooters are NOT shoot em ups, well not exactly.

• Pokemon Snap
• Killer7
• Jurassic Park the arcade game
• Typing of the Dead
• Area 51

But let's face it, Area 51 was a joke. You'd start playing, and if you only shot civilians, you got the super secret mode. And that's really my point here, Area 51 wasn't that good of a game. Also, Pokemon Snap printers cost too much nowadays.

Aaaaaannnnyyywwaaaaaaay. Give Until Dawn a shot. Redbox it, but understand that you'll be spending $12 or so to get through it completely, unless you marathon it. Beyond that, watch a Let's Play. No nudity, so I give it minus 5 stars compared to Night Trap. 

What's that?

Night Trap didn't have nudity? Well. It had that claw thing and the foot clan. So there's that.

The Den. Like Chatroulette, but with less demands for nudity.

BOYFRIEND I THINK

If it was that bad, maybe you should get off the site. 

WHATEVER THE MAIN GIRLS NAME IS

I'm not just gonna give up on the study, the school gave me a lot of money to do this, i can't just tell them i changed by mind.

BOYFRIEND I THINK

I don't know what you want me to say, it's the internet, you should have expected something like this.

Ever hear of the movie "The Den"? No? You haven't? But Rotten Tomatoes gave it an 80%! I.... I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it. It's on Netflix, but it's like deep in Netflix crap. Deep crap.

Originally released in Russia as Death Online (which is how this specific movie landed on my radar. I hear Russian horror movies, and I get all giddy. They'll eventually release a NightWatch/DayWatch 3, just keep waiting).

So remember in the early 200000s when omegle and chatroulette sites were all the rage? Remember how now they're not, and now everyone has [INSERT CURRENT TREND HERE] and [ADDITIONAL CURRENT TREND HERE] instead? (I'll stay topical forever dammit). Hey this movie remembers!

It's a found footage film, and the main character dies in the end. (Screw spoilers, you won't watch it).

Girl gets a school grant to do research on the people you meet on video chat. She witnesses a murder and investigates it. With sexy results.

Wait no, murderous results. 

Here's an additional list of things I didn't like from the movie.

• You're on a random cam site, and you ran across >1 penis. Yeah OK.
• The main girl has a guy on the side that looks and sounds identical to the boyfriend. I'm confused by that.
• Her Sociology professor board consisted of three old white guys and one sassy younger black girl. COME ON NOW.
• There were multiple dogs shown in the movie, yet none of the dogs had starring roles.
• She mentions she got take out, a few times, but we never see the takeout, nor does she use a proper noun in reference to the takeout. Movies do this constantly "hey guys, I brought some dinner and some refreshments in a satchel!". No. I want to know what you're eating, because you're boring me movie.
• The main girl looks foreign, and her sister doesn't, what's with that. 
• Multiple times throughout the movie it shows someones computer screen, not a single one of those screens had multiple tabs of porn open. Completely unrealistic.
• Her desktop. Ok so having a few folders on the desktop, fine. But her's are like sporadically scattered across the cloud wallpaper. I couldn't even be bothered to find a picture. Why that's annoying? She makes her bed every damn morning. Not only have you killed a stranger on the internet, but you've killed my trust in character development. Killed

The found footage medium so rarely works because it completely relies on the story and atmosphere to get anywhere. No real settings, just ambience and the reliable "did something just move in the darkly lit area, SOMETHING DID MOVE? OH GOODNESS, WHAT MOVED".

Found footage medium wouldn't work anywhere else, not in books or audio, because (well yes aside from the fact that it's footage), but also because you only get snippets of a story. One minute they're in the woods, one minute they're at home, but you're only seeing what they "see". Make a found footage movie from the aspect of a bookshelf in a spare bedroom or something, something interesting. You get 45 minutes of silence and then the occasional yelling.

Oh what? That would be too boring? Because the hour and a half I wasted on The Den was absolutely more interesting..... yeah, think about that.

For this medium to work, I need a few things. I need to feel empathy for the main character, I need either much more detail, or significantly less detail. Let me know every single thing about the character and how they got to where they are OR tell me nothing and let my mind fill in the blanks. 

If within the first 20 minutes of the movie, I see that she's cheating (or maybe not? idek), I immediately stop giving a shits about what might happen to her. Especially when she's mean to her boyfriend. But Doug, you don't know what the boyfriend did, maybe he was horrible to her?? NOPE. That's where you're wrong, I don't know what he did, I only know what the movie tells me, and the movie tells me she's cheating. 

You can infer it from her interaction with her boyfriend that he fucked up somewhere in the past? I see, so now you're essentially wanting me to create backstory where there is none. This all is the work of the author, not the viewer. Since the movie decided to give me some backstory, that's what I have to work with. Hell, from what they've given me, I can assume she's some horrible sadistic child murderer on the flee from the law and pretending to be a grad student somewhere.

Long story short, I should feel something for your main character if you want me to continue. If I, as the viewer, am not given the information as to why I should care for her, I'm not going to be vested in the story. She dies, and I think "well, the fucking way she goes boys". 

Overall the movie could have been a short story. Or it could have been a terrible sequel to feardotcom (which has an adorable wiki page here . This article has multiple issues indeed wikipedia).

All in all, it's a terribly written, acted, and designed movie. But as is my nature to marathon through them, complain loudly to a cat about them, then blog them. It's my calling.

Oh, it's also called The Den because that's the name of the website. There were no showing of dens, snugs, rumpus rooms, man caves, offices, home libraries, or computer rooms. Way to go movie. 

Also also, that bit of dialogue up top perfectly displays what was wrong with this movie. It was released as a video on demand film, ironic.

And finally, I wrote this entire blog while listening to the Heat soundtrack.

FaaaarCrrrryyyyy out loudddd. Just keep it inside...

Years ago, long before any of you were even thought of, it was the early 2004s. Times were tough. Stuff was happening, that guy was doing things, music was happening, it was a different time.

Taco Bell was still on point though.

Crytek made a delightful game called Far Cry 1. It was your standard FPS in the jungle. Sold just fine, made lots of people happy, helped Crytek get noticed. No biggie smalls right?

So naturally they came out with Far Cry 2 four years later. They took what people liked from the first, added some fire elements, some super smart AI, some tricks they'd learned from their super successful Crysis series, and made another solid FPS. There were some spin-offs and some tie-in games released under the Far Cry series between FC1 and FC2. Look, it was the 200000s, it's what we did back then.

Good on ya boys.

Then came Far Cry 3, take everything you've learned from the last handful of games, and make a much more solid and enjoyable open-world FPS. Far Cry 2 was open world too, but different, still felt linear.


Far Cry 3 was enjoyable, had decent (but essentially worthless) replayability, and was a perfect game for people who had that Fallout 3 explore and shoot-itch. You played a young man on a vacation with some friends, when events turns unfortunate for the group. Disaster, heartbreak, fear and adventure ensue. In the end you make some decisions that decide things, and come to some conclusions that conclude things. Why do I even summarize these things when I can have wikipedia use my words for me.

Far Cry 3 is set on a tropical Asian-Pacific archipelago called the Rook Islands. The game's protagonist is a young American man named Jason Brody who is trying to save his imprisoned friends and escape the hostile islands after a vacation gone wrong. He gets involved with the Rakyat, the native people of the island, and in return for their assistance, sets out to help them reclaim the island from its pirate invaders. (THEIR PIRATE LORD IS NAMED VAAS)


Thanks wikipedia!! All caught up? Wonderful.

Now here's the summary for Far Cry 4 from wikipedia. 

Ajay Ghale, After the death of his mother Ishwari, returns to his home country of Kyrat to carry out her final wish by scattering her ashes. Shortly after arriving in the region, the bus he was on gets stopped by Royal Army and after their passports were denied they started to shoot at the bus and killing most of Ajay's companions. Pagan Min arrives in his helicopter and takes Ajay and Darpan, an old man who acts as his guide, to Paul ''DePleur'' Harmon's fortress. The country's eccentric and violent king Pagan Min talks to Ajay and indicates that he knew Ajay's mother and was romantically involved with her. Pagan leaves Ajay alone for a few minutes, and Ajay flees the fortress with his mother's ashes (you can stay at the table until Pagan comes back to finish the game).


So. If I'm reading this right. Some guy goes to a foreign place, some shit goes down, and he ends up fighting to save the place. Far Cry 2 you're a mercenary sent to kill someone. Far Cry 1 you're a boat captain who ends up getting tossed into some crazy shit in the jungles. (OK KIDDING, YOU'RE A FORMER SUPER SOLDIER WHO IS HIRED TO TAKE A REPORTER SOMEWHERE, BUT YOU GET THE GIST).

What I'm getting at here is the plots are always somewhat vague. Which usually isn't a big problem in FPS games. There have been sketchier plots.

A cyberattack that cripples the Chinese Stock Exchange; in response, the Chinese government bans the export of rare earth elements which the entire infrastructure of the US Army runs and relies on, fermenting the start of the Second Cold War between the United States and NATO, against the Chinese-led Strategic Defense Coalition. 

That's one of the actual plots from COD:Black Ops II.


I think my biggest problem with the plots of Far Cry is how hard they try to write them. In 3 and 4 you have this massive character decision, sometimes sprinkled throughout the game. There's a line of decision making I enjoy in my video games. Mass Effect, for example, approaches the issue with a wide selection of choices, each one deliberately thought out and with consequences. In that you can choose how you want your character to play out, and then deal with the storyline to your preference.

Far Cry.... you don't give me that option. You write your characters in a specific fashion, one that any normal person might disagree with, and then hand me back the controls.

Yikes, fucked this up for you did i?
Far Cry, I didn't even want to do that, isn't my character supposed to be a badass?
Yeah, except not here, here he totally flips the script bro.
Nope. No. There will be no script flippage here.

It's an essential element of any good story. You have a main character who has a motivation, he comes across a conflict, addresses the conflict in accordance with his motivation, then deals with the result. The falling action (or denouement if you're nasty).

It's a big reason why I have such trouble reading James Ellroy books. You have a main character you understand and feel like you can see through, then halfway through the story, he completely fucks it up. (Read Clandestine, Brown's Requiem, Blood On The Moon, it's Ellroy's early work, but it shows this perfectly. Also, don't read those books, they're really long and frustrating and books).

You simply can't have the main character that I play make decisions in the game that I don't agree with. Sorry bub, doesn't work like that. Because, and I'll tell you why, once he makes that decision, I don't want to control him anymore. You've forced your story onto my shooty/stabby adventure, and you've made it a key element.

Far Cry 3 did this in spades. The main character makes a decision near the end of the game that doesn't fit any reasonable expectation for the character. He makes a number of smaller decisions throughout the game that damage his reputation as an actual hero. Sure, you're trying to save a tribe of people, but at the cost of your friends well being? Ahuh.


So.. what's this gotta do with Far Cry 4? Does nearly the same thing. I don't understand the character's motivation, I don't understand how he can quickly take up arms against something, but at other times ignore huge motivating factors completely. I don't want to ruin too much, but he does some weird shit.

BUT THIS IS A SHOOTER, SO WHY IN THE HELL IS THERE SO MUCH STORYLINE?

Exactly. You can have an overall plot, even main protagonist involvement emotionally, but when it changes the flow of the game... come on son. That's really my big gripe with the game, FC3 and FC4. You're trying too hard to make it a cinematic storyline-driven game when people want to play it for the mechanics and gameplay style.

YOU'VE SKINNED A BILLION ANIMALS, BUT MONTHS LATER, EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL YOU SKIN STILL COMES WITH A VOCAL "UGGHHH" FROM YOU? NO.

No. Same thing happens in FC3 too. You have such hesitation about skinning an animal, but a few days later you're skinning everything in sight. Sure, it's just a sound effect. BUT IF YOU WRITE THE GAME TO SHOW EMOTIONAL IMPACT FROM YOUR MAIN CHARACTER ABOUT CERTAIN ACTIONS, THOSE EMOTIONAL HINDRANCES SHOULDN'T REMAIN THROUGHOUT THE GAME. 

So you end up with this horribly mis-balanced character, who is motivated by who the fuck knows, and is trying to save something that he clearly had no ties to previous to this adventure. Why would I want to control that? What would keep me from skipping the cut scenes?

oh you. You'd keep me from skipping the cut scenes. I see. The game doesn't allow it. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME GAME? WE'RE FIGHTING FOR THE FREEDOM OF OUR VILLAGE??

Not only that, but there are two different leaders of the tribe, and I have to pick whom to listen to and do missions for. So... I can choose between two good people? What sort of fucking outcome do I get from that?

And finally..... Far Cry 4..... Pagan Min, the evil dictator ruling your country is actually the least of your concerns. It's obvious you're just a fictional version of Tibet. Very obvious. Nothing wrong with that, but GOOD LORD IF IT'S TIBET YOU HAVE A BIGGER ISSUE THAN PAGAN MIN, YOU HAVE CHINA.

But that's all neither here nor there. I read the ending for the game. Two screens worth of explaining. Needless to say, your character makes all sorts of weird decisions, mostly for no reason whatsoever. No underlying motivation, mostly just a "choose A or B, congratulations, you choose this one because of nothing"

I just want to shoot. I want to drive fast cars, and shoot stuff, and explore. The plot could be non-existent for all I care. But when the game is hindered by plot, that gets old.

Aside from the ambitious writers, the game does have a ton of high points. It's a solid shooter with everything we've come to expect from the Far Cry series. I just found myself skipping most of the cutscenes and ignoring most of the storyline. Because at the end of the day, I have games like Mass Effect and Dragon Age who, frankly, do a much better job of writing a concise yet deep story. That sort of thing doesn't just belong to BioWare either. Bioshock and Red Dead do an excellent job of telling deep stories while not interrupting the game itself.

All too often I feel like games subject the player to "here sit and walk with this guy while we explain way too much about the story to you, ok now here's how you crouch, shoot and run, anyway... more story". That feeling you get when you start off playing a game for the first time and you know it's going to be an hour or more before you really get taken off the leash.

Not that Far Cry is the only series guilty of it, but the game could shine so much more without all the backstory. On either side of the fence you have games that handle storyline completely different. Dragon Age with their pages and pages of story and subplot and everything else, and you have COD with its rough semblance of a storyline just deep enough so you can understand your geographic location and know what outfits to shoot at.

I want to love the Far Cry series, and for the most part I do. I just don't care for the storyline and poorly planned out lead character I pilot. It's not that kind of game, and I doubt anyone is really expecting it to be. Skip over all the fluff and backstory of the game, and you have a consistently solid shooter with great mechanics, beautiful landscapes and tons of hours to spend in it. IF I WANTED A STORY I'D READ A BOOK.

......who am I kidding, if I wanted a story, I'd watch half of the movie based on the book, and google the ending.

Ooooo OooooOooo weeeee. Dyyyying Light....is boring.

Hey kid, come here. Did you know zombies were the in thing right now?

GET AWAY FROM ME STRANGER FROM 2009. I AM AWARE OF WHAT WAS COOL BACK THEN.

I played Dying Light Island Riptide, or whatever.

The morning the game was released, Gamestop made a mistake. You buy the season pass for the PS4 online, they give you the code for the fullgame instead. Whoops. Good thing it didn't get onto Reddit.

OH CRAP IT DID EVERYONE GET UP AND BUY IT.

Two hours after the mistake was found, everyone who saw it, got it. But then get this, you ready? Sitting down? They're going to give to anyone who tried to buy the season pass online (with the intention of getting the full game for cheap) the season pass for free. You fools.

(See I can say stuff like that now, because, look LET ME FINISH THE BLOG).

Sos I got the game. Played it, begrudgingly, because I have all these other games I need to play and frankly I don't have the time toblogabouteveryoneandmaybei'mjustbusywiththingsnandstuffandchadhasn'tinvitedmetothedanceandhesgoingtoaskthatbitchbritany!!!

RECIPE FOR MAKING ONE DYING LIGHT.

• 1 part Mirrors Edge.
• 1 part Dead Island
• a dash of difficulty from dark souls, or whatever (night scenes man)

Put it into the setting from Spec Ops (somewhere sandy, I didn't own a globe as a child). Make it look super nice, and you have Dying Light. Not that it's a bad thing, just..... I dunno, something about running from zombies and crafting makeshift weapons feel like a dance I've danced before. and I don't dance.

The storyline is something, as in you're a super secret spy being sent in to investigate blah blah blah. I kinda preferred the vague story from Dead Island (you're a rapper...but sort of, and you fight zombies). There are two factions that are battling to survive amidst the apocalypse, and a ton of hilarious townsfolk to spice things up a bit.

The game looks gorgeous, but it's expected on the next gen systems. There's a ton of clipping and drop in issues, but it's expected on the next gen systems. Everything moves as smoothly as expected. The interfaces work well enough; craft weapons here, upgrade skills here, here's a map, do these things. For real though, it's a much cleaner upgrade of Dead Island.

But see that's the issue, there wasn't really anything wrong with Dead Island. You got on, jumped into friends game, and ran around completing tasks.

Wait, Techland. You mean they made.... but you just came out with Dead Island Riptide, then you make Dying Light to...

Dying Light, in summation, is Dead Island 3, or Dead Island Next Gen.

What else can be said, they took what people enjoyed from the Dead Island series, added some flash and dazzle, ramped up the parkour elements, and continued with what they knew.

Techland was smart...ish. They cancelled releasing the game on PS3 and 360. Why's that smart? Well, because. Releasing the game on both last and current gen systems means you have two factories making the same game for completely different results. The last gen system versions wouldn't sell.

It's tough when people start to feel forced to buy new systems, because well.... THAT'S ANOTHER BLOG FOR A LATER DATE.

K. So that's where we are. So what's different? What's new? Is there a reason for me to buy this game over any of the other zombie survival games out there? And what's all this I hear about cooperation?

You'll initially want to buy the game if you know of anyone who already owns it. Simple enough. The co-op in this game brings back the fun/terror of Dead Island on the next gen systems. While most people have tossed out their old systems, they might not have gotten out their hankering for some good old fashion co-op. Otherwise, it's a great way to make some friends on PSN if you find yourself lacking warm bodies who own the newer systems. 

New? I dunno. More weapons, the parkour system (seriously, it's IDENTICAL to Mirror's Edge, but no complaints here, since we're clearly not seeing a sequel anytime soon), and then there's the night mode. Oh lawd the night mode. 

The game gets smart in where at night, it gets cray. Stronger zombies who can jump, climb and run just like you are out and about, along with a biiiig increase in the amount of average lumbering fools running the streets. It makes it so that the night game on Dying Light turns into more of a stealth game than anything else. It's a good break from the norm, albeit frustrating when missions don't give you the option to choose night or day.

Should you buy this game? No. Not unless you know for a fact that you have someone you can play with regularly. Otherwise, I have a sneaking suspicion that this game will quickly become cheaper in the near future. At $40 and $15-$20 for additional DLC, it would be a decent, but don't go shelling out a full $60 just yet.

Tag team, Back again, check and direct, and let's begin.

Who knew that one day the words scribed by Stephen Gibson and Cecil Glenn would be the title of an internet blog entry. Tag Team came out with two albums, no foolin, then nearly a decade later came out with a "Best Of" album. Those tenacious bastards.

AT. ANY. RATE.

I'm back. Did you miss me? I've missed you. Seems like forever since we last chatted. So pull up your favorite blanket, download some sort of fireplace app, and get cozy. I've got a whole mess of reviews and entries coming down the line for you. Oh you want a sample?

Well fine.

• Dying Light (or how I got a free game, then a free season pass)
• Assassin's Creed Unity/Rogue (SO TOPICAL RIGHT NOW)
• The Saboteur.
• Far Cry 4
• Alien: Isolation
• Forcing you buy a new system

Wait, you're telling me I did a Saboteur review? You mean it's somewhere right now out in the ether of the world wide webs? Look skeptical friend, I just beat the game today. YES I AM AWARE THAT ITS A 4 YEAR OLD GAME, WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?

So... now that we're alone. What have you been up to lately? Me? Oh nothing much, just writing a book or two. No but seriously, books. Wrote them. I mean they aren't that good *passively kicks rock on ground*. But in that time I fear I've neglected what you and I shared. I also went through about 8 billion different jobs, because you know I'm cool like that.


OH! Add another topic to that list up top. I don't feel like scrolling.

Whatever, lazy. I had to leave my industry of selling video games by day, why you ask? Well you'll just have to read the blog.

WITH THAT BEING SAID. Let's line up that spine up, dine up that wine up, and rock out with your blog out.

Xbox 360's Binary Domain

I've been playin games. What have you been doing?


Aaaaaaaat any rate. I love single player, 10-20hr, third or first person shooters that hardly make waves.

Binary Domain is one of those games. The Japanese made this game. It has a very heavy Final Fantasy/ MGS vibe to it. But come on, you can't beat a straight-forward shooter with a simple concept, simple storyline, and solidly presented gameplay.

Something about robots looking like humans, and an evil robot manufacturing plant taking over the world. Or something. Post-war soldiers all group up from different countries and head out to arrest the leader of this evil plant. Yup, simple storyline.

I mean, in a sense it's simple. A group of soldiers trying to capture a single person.

The storyline allows for lots of strange situations, giant robot creatures (a robot motorcycle-thing with a rail-gun chase on a highway), but they all seem.... plausible? Well, if nothing else, they'll remind you of some of the weird summons you find in FF.

It's a third-person shooter, on a solid engine. You can rush to and from cover, shoot from cover, roll, duck, dodge, dip, dive, and... dodge. I never once was frustrated with the controls. That's more and more a big reason why I'll continue to play a game, if the controls are solid and effective.

You play as Dan, an American teamed up with a bunch of others, blah blah blah. Dan is a relatively likeable guy, if not a little stubborn. The interactions between the other characters are standard for the most part. You're given opportunities to reply to teammates questions and statements, which builds or destroys their trust in you.

This trust system is pretty common in games today, if not a bit overused. I was generally well-liked by most people on my team. You do lose trust for friendly fire, which to me didn't exactly seem fair since the AI sometimes has a tendency to try to take the same cover spot you're using, or just blatantly walk in front of you while you're unloading a clip. But it's nothing a "good job" later on from you can't fix.

I like to keep these short. So think Gears of War if they wanted you to finish it in about 20 hours, not remember any of the characters names, and just overall like the game. There's multiplay too, but no one plays it. Sorry, fact.

Will I play it again? Probably not. Was it worth buying? Absolutely. A good action shooter is a nice time-waster if you don't have hours and hours to devote to a game. Any major flaws? Not really, a few cover hiccups here and there. There's depth in the game if you really search for it, but on the surface the game is just fine enough. Think of it like any number of rainy Saturday afternoon movies. They're entertaining as hell while you're watching/ playing, don't make much of an impact, and only take up as much time as you'll allow it. I say give it a chance, you most likely won't regret it. If nothing else, it's a good rental for a few days.

So you've just found out you have the templars curse...

Cursed Crusade on 360 and PS3. Ever heard of it? Probably not. Ever heard of Atlus? Maybe. They were guilty of such titles as Catherine, Divinity 2, Rock of Ages, Operation Darkness, and King of Fighters.

Now before you fan boys start to flip out, I own every single SMT game they made for the PS2 and PSP, so you know.... I got the chops.

At any rate, Atlus is known for their rather difficult and unforgiving RPG, JRPG, and RTS games. Divinity, KOF, and Rock of Ages were a few outliers. Then along comes Cursed Crusade.

Not kidding, the title of this blog is also the tag line for the game. The concept is pretty confusing, but basically, you're a templar of sorts, you join up with a spaniard, and you both have matching curses. It's a french game, made by french people, with french tendencies, in a french area, so you'll notice a few slight irregularities in the game. Mainly the odd accents, and the very small amount of gaming guts (menus, tutorials, class descriptions and the likes).

Why am I even discussing this game? How did I run across it? It came out a few weeks ago and was $60. Now we all know I love to play obscure games that no one else will touch. (Sherlock Holmes vs Jack The Ripper I'm looking at you), but $60 this fall was a bit rich for my blood. 2 weeks after it was released, it dropped in price to $40, then to $30 the following week. A clear sign that this was a game I needed to get my hands on. A bad game being released in this day and age is alway so strange I simply must be a part of it.

So what is it? Basically a co-op hack and slash. You have a bevy of weapon combinations you can use, two swords, two maces, one sword, one mace, great sword, sword and mace, you get it. You and the NPC or you and a pal run around and... well, hack and slash. To add a bit of flair to the gameplay, you have a curse where you turn into a demon and can use magical attacks. This all takes place during the templar crusades. Get it? Cursed cru... nevermind.

Why isn't a split-screen co-op flying off of the shelves? Well, probably because people don't know it is what it is. Or maybe because they decided to release this fall, amongst a dozen other AAA games. Or maybe it's because no one is expecting a decent co-op split screen to ever be released again?

I played the crap out of their other 360 slasher Divinity 2. Now I know I know, it wasn't originally an Atlus game, but any Oblivion/Gothic-esque game I can get my hands on (aside from Gothic 4) I'll play the crap out of.

Any big problems with the game? Sadly no. This is one of the few titles I wish would get some recognition, since it doesn't do anything terrible, and it doesn't do any one thing that great, it's just basic mayhem. Reminds me of most of the games released in the early 2000s, nothing that ground breaking, just good fun.

Buy, rent, or avoid? I'd say rent. Give it a whirl for a weekend, you'll enjoy the time you spend with it. Buy it if you have another gamer living amongst you, for $30 you both will easily be able to get 100% out of it, and still have the ability to replay.

Furtive is just another word for sneaky.

Been playin Assassins' Creed: Brotherhood recently. I know I know, Batman, Battlefield, Uncharted, they're all waiting for me, but I'm annoyed that I never finished Assassins Creed before. I finished the first Batman when it came out. I finished Battlefield ages ago. I'm almost finished with Uncharted 2. Look, I got busy! Moral of the story, I've been playing older games over again. Except I'm stuck. Yep, stuck on AC:B. I understand that some of the missions have to be sneaky, and they don't want you to get caught, but it doesn't make any damn sense.

I'm a highly trained, seasoned, and equipped assassin. I've killed hundreds, hundreds more will fall, but get caught by one guard on a single mission, and the whole thing goes down. Now I can understand if it's something storyline specific, like you're tailing someone. But if I'm trying to just capture Da Vinci's weapons? I can't get caught then? I suppose I understand that they're trying to break up the monotony of the gameplay, but come on.... some people had to have gotten to those parts and gone "forget it, done with this game".

I'm not going to be one of them. I'll take a break, play something else, then go back to that game and see if I can figure it out. But I am also extremely stubborn, and I have also played through all of Rogue Warrior, so my tolerance for bad games knows no bounds.

There are already super-sneaky games out there, and most of them fail horribly. If everyone wanted to play a sneak-only game, they would be demanding Thief to finally be remade. They would be hailing Velvet Assassin as one of the greatest games ever. Splinter Cell would win game of the year consistently. But here's the thing, gamers get tired of the super sneaky. Well.... most gamers. Not all, and not you if they're your cup of tea. But let's face it, I probably talk to about 50 gamers every day, and not a one of them actually prefers the sneaky missions.

It's just messing with the flow of the game!!! Come on! "Yeah, killed that guy, oooo! killed 2 guys at once, then stole a bunch of gold! Awesome!.... oh... one guy 4 buildings over saw me, and I failed". It's not "oh you've been caught and we're going to send 30 guards to kill you. Because you'd be able to handle that, oh no, the game just uses the god ability and forces you to try it again.

This all raises an interesting point that the Assassin's Creed series actually isn't a sandbox game, and should quit acting like it. You're required to go from A to B to C, but you can make detours on the way, so it might seem like you're directing the action. If nothing else, just give me a reason to demand sneaking. That's it. A door would close or a person would be notified or something? Anything. Just quit using the scapegoat that it's what you're supposed to do.


On a side note, both Assassins Creed and Splinter Cell are made by Ubi Soft. Now I like the company, but they have some changes to start making. Splinter Cell allowed you to try to take everyone on if you were caught, but you had limited armor, so it made it a bit more clever. You can't use the same theory for Assassins Creed?

Revelations will be a great game, I'm a little surprised at the amount of editions they've come out with.
link and scroll down to "marketing"

Meanwhile, COD will be basically releasing a single edition. And outsell Assassins Creed by millions. Comical at best.


Let's not get off topic. Sneaky. All the way back to games like MGS I've had no interest in sneaking around. Sure getting a kill or two stealth-style is always fun, I guess. Ugh.... Manhunt. I don't need to say anything else.

Ok maybe I do. I'm not saying that game was good, I'm saying that what I feel like I have to accomplish each time I get a stealth kill. But not only that, Assassins Creed wants me to stealth all around, but not even kill anyone! Since bodies make it obvious! Just not something I feel like doing right now. What's even more hilarious is the idea of stealth 1st person. Deus Ex I'm looking at you. Yes I got caught, and often. Good thing I had a completely upgraded shotgun with a silencer. No need to run to that alarm panel. Also, Goldeneye. Siberia base, "don't let the cameras catch you!".....can I just shoot out the cameras?...."well......yes". Those, all of those made more sense then- OH! YOU'VE BEEN CAUGHT. THE PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE. NO FAIRES IN JARS. START THE F OVER.

Maybe it's just a pet peeve of mine, but what can kill a killer? Well, according to Assassin's Creed, being seen by some nobody on top of a guard tower. Not spears, swords, crossbows and poison, but a simple observation. Jane Goodall > Ezio.

Nana-nana-nana-nana- LEADER. Top games?

I mean.... BATMAN.

omgthereissomuchtodoandi'llneverfinsh.

Dear Rocksteady.... proud of you. As I watch the "Perfect Score" reviews coming in, I couldn't be happier with this damn game. I'm at the 10 hour mark, I literally started playing at 12:01, and I've enjoyed every bit of it.

Batman: Arkham City. I've always been a Batman fan. Batman sheets, Batman underwear, Batman toothbrush, and this was all after I hit my 20's. Hey-o!

Seriously though, the work and time they've put into it shows, there are about 15 side mission quests (but they're long, like storyline long) and then the main storyline. NOT TO MENTION the Riddler challenges, the challenge maps, the expansions, it's just... a lot of game for one price.

A review wouldn't exactly do it justice, just read the reviews. It's up there with GTA4, Red Dead, Oblivion, and Gears 1. Where it belongs.

Buy the damn game. One of the best games to come out this year, the best Batman game so far, and an extremely enjoyable experience.

However. Here's my problem. A little education for the masses that I'll coat-tail onto Exploder Blades blog. You see.... gaming companies usually release big games (or AAA titles as the industry calls it) in the fall, right around October/November. Why? Well, their big sales will be right before the tax season, people are back to work and school from the summer vacations and they entertainment and they have more money rolling in, and of course.... Holidays. Mostly Holidays.

Come out with your big game in November, when people are holiday shopping, and you know it'll sell. If you really peel an eye towards the games coming out this fall, you'll see that they're all (with a few exceptions) targeted to different audiences. Shooters, RPGs, wrasslin games, comic book games, and sandboxes. A few overlap (AC:R & Saints Row 3, BF3 & COD3), but they're all guaranteed sellers. Gaming companies know that summer sales suck. Always have. Had Gears or Rage come out in June or July would it have gone over as well? Nope. It's the way the business is designed. Fear, Shadows of the Damned, Hunted... those were the early summer games, and their sales showed it. Only desperate gaming weirdos bought those games..... wait.

Sports games are different, since they have to match the sports season, so that's cool. But time and time again, games come out in the fall, big ones. Fall then early march/april. How it's been for years, probably has something to do with the farming or something.

Point is. Batman is a great game. Skyrim will be a great game. Assassin's Creed and BF3 will be great games. COD:MW3 will sell lots. If Batman is any indication of how this fall will go, I'm in no rush to finish any of these games, since they'll all be very well made, and deserving of great awards.

Now back to Batman, I'm almost done with the Titan container missions, at least my half and...

This October's Rant bought to you by....

Blah Blah blah, school, wedding anniversary, new job (career?), I have been busy so I missed updating September. Well, on to games!
I got a lot to say so it’s another one of those smorgasbords of thoughts month’s.

1. So I picked up a relatively rare game for the DS called Infinite Space. I have a love-hate relationship with this game so far. It’s about space travel and combat, and you do get to build your own starships in it, almost from scratch. Little things like placing officers in specific roles to give the ship bonuses to measuring the fatigue of your crew to watching your fleet of sips traverse through space make this title intriguing indeed. You know what doesn’t make it intriguing? The bare bones, phoned in plot. Seriously, for a supposedly 40 hour RPG (I am only 6 hours in and so bored with it) this story better bring it’s A game in the second half. Boy goes on adventure through space, recruits friends along the way, blah blah cookie cutter RPG story.

Also, the combat is a real let down. When you create and build a fleet from the ground up, you expect to have a plethora of combat options to make the game more interesting. Nope. The combat boils down to a timed game of rock-paper-scissors, or as Infinite Space calls it, Barrage attack, Normal attack, and Dodge. Barrage’s do heavy damage, but if Dodged, they are easily avoided. Normal attacks do…well…normal damage, but if the enemy Barrage’s you, you’re screwed. And Dodge works well against Barrage, but does nothing against normal. Oh, and you can move in on a linear battlefield to get into or out of weapons range. There, I just explained Infinite Space’s entire combat system in five sentences. That was seriously all there is to it. When a game lets you build your own starship fleet, exclusively for use in space, then it stands to reason why a simplistic combat system might not be what I signed up for. One day I will complete it, but lately I have had to work up the fortitude to sit down and play it.

2. I have been on an old-school game kick. I beat Metroid, then Metroid II, now Legend of Zelda is on the docket along with Zelda II: Links Adventure. Ahhh the benefits of buying a 3DS on launch day. So Metroid…
On this month last year Nintendo and Team Ninja decided to collectively insult every Metroid fan in the world by releasing Metroid: Other M. It is still the worst one in the series…wait shut up, YES, it is worse than Metroid II. I liked Metroid II: Return of Samus and I think its mechanic of killing every Metroid on SR388 is not only the most important plot element for the entire series. That, and the game is damn fun. Other M did do what no other Metroid game did before it; it gave Samus a voice, and a terrible one at that. It also gave her a personality, and a terrible one at that. You know, let’s skip talking about Other M, I really didn’t like that game…
But the first Metroid game, there is a classic right there. It’s you, as Samus, alone on a fortress planet and you must kill Mother Brain. This game is challenging, but fair. Graphically inferior, yet still way ahead of its time. Small tip for everyone that hasn’t beaten the gae yet: Ice Beam. Once you find it, keep it. Fu** the Wave Beam. The Ice Beam actually makes Ridley the easiest boss in the game.
Metroid II: Return of Samus, as I mention, is a small masterpiece. It doesn’t make you want to jump for joy at any particular element, and the music is the worst thing ever, but the game is still solid. Samus has a large character model, gains some mainstay weapons and items in this game such as the Spazer and Plasma beams, Space jump, shoulder-padded Varia suit, Spring Ball and the rarely visited Spider Ball all make their first appearance in this game.

OTHER M SPOLIER

If you were ever wondering why Samus jumps into the Queen Metroid’s mouth near the end of Other M play this game and use that tactic to kill the Queen Metroid in this one. Works wonders

Spoiler Over

3. Star Fox 64 3D! Yay!!!! Wait…it only supports LOCAL wi-fi play with multiple 3DS’? Back to Gamestop you go, Yayyy!!! Come on now, Nintendo, you can’t keep pulling that crap. It’s 2011. Everyone has an Xbox Live account because online play has proven to be “cool” and “convenient” and “smart”. Hope on the bandwagon already. While we are on the topic…

4. Monster Hunter 4 for the 3DS…looks pretty good. The slide on analog pad for the 3Ds…is kinda gimmicky, but if it does retail for $20 I suppose I could live with it. Now, hows about a US release date, eh?

5. Battlefield 3? Skyward Sword? Arkam City? Skyrim?! And AC:Revelations?!!! ALL IN THE SPAM OF TWO MONTHS!!! Where the fu** was all these games during the summer! Now I feel like I have to take out a bank loan just to…OMG SW: Old Republic gets a release date and it’s in December!

-Dear Game Companies: It is not a good idea to oversaturate the market like that, because believe it or not, I am only going to buy two games on this list. Yes, I wants them all, but the demographic this games are being marketed to have primary responsibilities and time constraints, what with our jobs and such. Like the whole thing with two companies releasing Battlefield 3 and Modern Warefare 3 in the same two week period. As gamers that like multiplayer games, we will chose. One of you will lose. Battlefield 3 could have come out in March like Medal of Honor did or vice versa, but noooo. You guys wanna fight it out with your most important asset, your sales figures and customer base. Activision, IMHO, I think you may be surprised…



That’s all I got for this month. Tune in next month when I wax philosophical on how much fun I am having playing Skyward Sword and Battlefield (yes, those were the two).

Despite all my... gaming? I'm still just a Wastelander in a desert.

Rage. I like you. You like me. We have a pretty decent relationship. I occasionally stop by, hang out for a while, enjoy my time with you, and I go do other things. It's nice, it's safe. It's just.... you're starting to ask a lot out of me. When we first started to spend time together we'd explore the world, trade some stuff, and maybe run a few errands. But now... I dunno, things are different. I get back from a long day of work, I have to drive from one side of the city to the other, put hours into a place I don't even really enjoy being, drive all the way back home (and traffic is just a nightmare) and you greet me with even more errands to do tomorrow. It's not that I don't appreciate feeling needed, it's just sometimes too much to handle.

Seriously though, this is my thought as I'm playing Rage. It's a great game and all, just asking a ton out of me. Had it come out this last spring, I'd be a Rage expert, but I mean, there's Batman coming up, Battlefield, Skyrim, it's just a lot to take in.

The game, however, it simply delicious. Gorgeous graphics, some of the best I've seen on the 360, and what continues to be top-notch on the PS3 as well. It chugs along nicely on either system, and has everything I ever wanted. Would I call it a perfect game? Not by a long shot. But what it's missing are just elements from other games that have just spoiled me. Now if I'm playing a wasteland FPS and there isn't a radio, I simply hate the in-game music, soo.... thanks for that Fallout. Considering that the Ink Spots sales increased nearly half a century after their existence was due in no small part to Fallout 3, it makes me wonder why Rage decided to skimp on the music. Also, did you ever notice that Cage the Elephants song was featured in Borderlands, but only in the opening? What's with that?

Fallout, Borderlands, Rage? They all so similar? Well............yeah. Take Borderlands mechanics, mix it with the atmosphere of Fallout, but the looks of Borderlands.... and the controls of Borderlands, and... ok. I was once told that a bad reviewer mentions other games in their reviews, but the comparisons to Borderlands will be so very obvious. Rocket launching cars, upgradeable weapons, sharp-edged wielding maniacs. Fine, it's Borderlands 2.0.

Of course they say that imitation is the highest form of flattery, and if that's the case, they've nailed it. Rage is what I wanted Borderlands to be. I just never felt like I was getting anywhere in Borderlands, and I never wanted to play with other people, so take those parts out, and give it a somewhat believable storyline, and you get Rage.

I'll keep this one short, there are a ton of quests, it's gorgeous, the vehicle combat/racing isn't terrible it's actually occasionally fun, and it's made by people who know how to make shooters. Should you play it? Of course, you just might not keep it forever, but the time you spend with it just might re-ignite your love for solid single player FPS games. It did for me.

Saving system to save souls. Sandwiches too.

Dark Souls, you confuse me. You pride yourself on being an extremely difficult game. Requiring the player to "learn from their mistakes". I get that, I trodded my way through Demon Soul all those years ago, and was frustrated each time. The game itself is gorgeous, think of a third person Oblivion with darker, more artistic graphics and vastly different and complex character/inventory system. It's like playing a live action AD&D with just a few small constraints.

But for crying out loud... that saving system? Perfect example: The game starts you off with a basic tutorial, then a small boss battle where you have to sort of backtrack to find the way to defeat the boss. Standard Dark Soul fare. Only problem is, I have no idea where the save spots are! So I die, and I quit playing (which is obviously something they don't want you to do) I come back, and I'm directly at the starting, but at a save.... weird.

Another time, I wanted to see what would happen if I jumped off of a cliff, the game saved right before I jumped... so... wait, are you actively saving, well that can't be the case, since I put in about 45 minutes into a character just to find out it didn't save once. (RIP BAALLLLLZZAAAK).

After asking around to the other people I know who play the game, they've all told me that it saves when you go to the bonfires. Ok, makes sense, until I load up a game and I'm no where near a bonfire.


At any rate, it got me thinking about the importance of save points in a game.

In some games like Fear Effect, you were required to find a save point, then select your phone from your inventory, select save then you select the memory card, then you saved your file. Ok, that's fine.... except this was all happening during the game, and you didn't exactly have the ability to pause, so if an enemy or NPC were to stroll across you while you conducted your little save ballet... you were screwed.

My only complaint with Oblivion, and the entire Elder Scrolls series isn't so much a complaint as it is a frustration that has saved my bacon a few times. You have unlimited saves. Save as often as you'd like (except in mid-air). I ended my 100% completion Oblivion playthrough on the Xbox with about 250+ game saves. On the PC it was even worse. My complaint is that if you wanted to go back a few files, you could, but saving and playing multiple characters was practically impossible if you used auto-save. I guess that's more of a design choice than anything else, but it was fun making each character and leveling them completely different, not having to wait until you're completely done auto-saving a single playthrough.

Dark Souls allows for multiple characters to be saved, which is great, I just wish I could pause and select save. Well, for that matter, I wish I could select pause.

Which brings me to my second gripe. The lack of a pause menu. I know this is a design choice, and it's very edgy and cool, but come on... I can't pause my game? Not even for a moment? To get lunch? Personally, I think this is a dumb choice. Reason you can't pause things like WoW and other MMOs are because other people are involved and well... that'd be impossible. But not being able to pause a single player game just forces the player to find a hiding spot and hope no one finds him. OR stop playing. Well... the second option just isn't possible since... you know.... weird auto-saves.

Remember how bad Metal Gear Solid made you feel when you saved too much? LOOK PSYCHO MANTIS, I SOMETIMES HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO WITH MY LIFE I CAN'T JUST SIT DOWN AND PLAY STRAIGHT THROUGH.

Opposite end of the spectrum though, when I first got my PS1, I didn't have a memory card, so I had to leave it running and turn the TV off if I wanted to do something else, and I still managed to finish Resident Evil 2. So what's the difference? Xbox 360s and PS3s can overheat after a few hours of playing, even if they don't overheat it isn't good for them. Let me take breaks from the game Dark Souls, even if I don't get a pause menu. Or maybe just explain the saving system.

Batman in 2 weeks!!!

Call of Jars.

Working at a video game store allows me to be around all of the hot new titles. Which is great. However, there's a severe lapse in ability for the store employees to actually play the newest titles without buying them. Hell, even at the video rental stores they're allowed to play the newest games without buying them. Now, I'm all for playing the newest games if they're good, but what about if they ain't? In walks Call of Juarez.

First of all, most of the people who come into my store have a bit of an accent, so pronouncing Juarez is difficult. It ends up being jars. La noire ends up being la Nore, and deus ex is duce x. So why subtitle your game something people will instantly be confused with? Anyway, thank god for red box, I was able to try out this disaster and bring it back as soon as I could, which is exactly what I did.

For starters, this was yet another game that randomly gave me some ferocious motion sickness. Lemme preface this all with, I ride roller coasters, I've flown planes, been on tons of boats, and been playing video games for years, and it hasn't been until recently that it's gotten to the point where I've had to stop. I've also found it to be with crappy games. Connection? Maybe. At any rate this game, as well as duke nukem, both forced me to have to literally take a break after about an hour or so.

The game clearly wants you to play online, as each time you start a new level, it suggests that you search for matches online. As fun as that sounds... I still don't do much online playing. COD and Battlefield are different, since you can jump in and jump out as you'd like, but mission based games like COJ and Marvel Alliance need a more dedicated crowd, not some random search online. If I want to leave, I don't want to completely screw over the other player. Maybe it's just a personal preference, but I enjoy seeing the multiplay separate from the single play.

The game itself doesn't really know if it's coming or going. You have your option of choosing from one of three characters, each one with a different storyline, but not different mission areas, so basically..... I mean really.... you're playing the game 3 times over. Cheap move, but I guess it would matter in multiplay. The controls are clunky as always, the guns are hilariously underpowered. A gangster in a tanktop and and shorts, I shoot him three times right in the head (how do I know? the game tracks headshots and accuracy), 3 times in the head, and he keeps right on shooting. So you're willing to track headshots, but you won't give it the power it deserves? I've played games before where headshots count, and frankly... I don't mind the intensity. If my guy gets his brains splattered because of a wrong move, and it happens from a single shot... well, I won't do that again. If I take the time to line-up a perfect headshot, I should be awarded for my patience, I'm just saying.

Buy rent or avoid? I'd say rent, it's a decent easy chunk of achievements, and it's a non-mainstream shooter that's got some potential (mostly in the graphics and the view distance, you'll only understand it if you see it).

I mean, it beats Duke Nukem.

GameFly: My Thoughts on it

Almost didn’t make it for this month. Well, I’m here now so…

I want to talk a little bit about GameFly for a bit because I have been using it for 5-6 months and feel I can give a somewhat accurate account of it. So, the service operates similarly from Netflix’s delivery service. Make a queue with games instead of movies, wait for them to come in the mail, play as long as you like, pay a monthly fee that varies dependant on how many games you want, and that’s it. I am sure plenty of people out there have used/still use the service, so this will be a retread to many people. For those that haven’t made the leap, the question is, is GameFly worth it?

To me, kinda. Yes overall, but I wouldn’t blame anyone that cancelled it after two months or more.

You see, much like NetFlix, GameFly promises speedy delivery of your games. Difference is, NetFlix deliveries on those promises. GameFly, well, it depends on your definition of speedy. NetFlix movies are all spent via USPS First Class and they have distribution centers in almost every state. GameFly, uses what’s essentially second class, or postage stamp speed, and they only have four distribution centers. So, what NetFlix does in 1 business day (2 days in normal time, 3 on weekends), GameFly does in 5 business days (or pretty much a week).

Something else GameFly is guilty of is actually sending a game on your queue to you in the order that it was placed there. Much like Netflix, they send what ever is in your Queue as fast as it becomes available. GameFly, is short, doesn’t care. Sure, they will follow your queue as best that is possible and dependent on what’s available at their distribution centers, but they will also give “what’s available at the time” or “nothing at all”.

Story time: One time I had a queue full of some high-profile (according to MetaCritic and their sales history) games, and I waited about three weeks to get Batman: Arkam Asylum. GameFly’s excuse when I emailed then about it?

“You list has many games in it that are in high demand and we have just experienced a large influx of new customer whose demands we are also trying to meet. We can only ship out games as soon as they become available in your area.”

So since I live in Florida, my distribution center is in Tampa. They decided that the closest game in my Queue was Batman: AA, and they mailed it from Pittsburgh because I complained. They actually could have done this from the beginning, and I wouldn’t have cared since it came two days later.

That just GameFly not really caring and trying to give me “nothing at all”. An example of them “not caring” would be me putting Prince Of Persia for the Gamecube in my queue at spot #12, and then that being THE VERY NEXT GAME they ship me, ahead of Borderlands, Portal 2, Child of Eden, LA Noire, etc. That is not even good service. Just because it’s in my queue, doesn’t mean I wanted to play it then and there. It wasn’t even like the other games weren’t available or in low levels, they just wanted to limp to me the only game that wasn’t considered high profile.


Ok, that’s enough complaining. Nothing in this life is perfect, especially rental services. GameFly, overall, it’s a good service. Though it does take a bout a whole week to receive my games, none of them are scratched and it’s usually a very consistent week with email updates. I myself, subscribe to the 2 games out a month plan, that way I have a steady flow of games to plow through. Don’t worry, if I want a game bad enough I will buy it, but most are worth playing through just to investigate their design and what they contribute to the industry or my own curiosity…that and they are fun. Also, with the two games a month scenario, I save WAY more money than if I just bought them and traded them in.

It’s kinda my thing nowadays to save money, but still maintain my vices. Since gaming is a very big vice for me, this works well. I say try it, cause if you hate it, you can just cancel and walk away.